Sunday at the mall

Sunday at the mall, I met an old acquaintance.

She approached me and asked about the condition of an old friend. We got to talking. Then she shared about her intent to leave her job after twenty long years. She wanted to rest. I said, go. Execute that plan. You've worked hard and long, you deserve to lie low for a while. She naturally had apprehensions most especially that her well-meaning friends encouraged her to wait out for another five years or so. She explained that she's not keen on anchoring her decision on money. I said, right. I support your decision to rest.

Why am I supportive? Because she has thought well and hard about it. She has prepared for it.

Leaving a well-paying job entails a radical life change. These adjustments are part and parcel of the package. Bring the entire family into the plan so they will understand the upcoming changes and be ready to adjust, as well.

Everybody deserves a break. She has worked for twenty years. Surely, her well-deserved break is not so hard to grant.

She can do consultancy on the side so she won't get bored. She can do mentoring. There are a lot of things she can do given her experience, caliber, and professional track record.

Like I always say, everyone will approach a life phase. It is disconcerting, unnerving and scary. However, if the ultimate reason is health, we should totally support. After all, health is the greatest wealth. 

Lady, I support you. Go enter that new life phase. Make God your banner.

Food for thought:

They're different kinds of challenges depending upon what phase of life I'm in. - Alanis Morissette

Do it now! can affect every phase of your life. It can help you do the things you should do but don't feel like doing. It can keep you from procrastinating when an unpleasant duty faces you. But it can also help you do those things that you want to do. It helps you seize those precious moments that, if lost, may never be retrieved. - Napoleon Hill

Christmas visit

It's not everyday that our sibling visits us from afar.

For starters, travels entail cost. Of course, you have to synchronize schedules. On top of that, you must be in top shape. Travel is always accompanied by stress so it is important to be physically and emotionally healthy.

I'm glad that my sister Delora and husband Daryl spent the Christmas holidays with us. Early this morning though, I drove them to the van station. They preferred the van over the bus. They have to return to Butuan City for a school activity tomorrow (read: Rizal Day).

We had bonding time and took many photos. Thanks to the inventor of the digital camera, we just point and shoot, so to speak.

Delora is impressed with the development of Gen. Santos City. She is often here but the last time she was here was in December 2007. Since then, it has grown, as she pointed out. We also drove to nearby Alabel, Sarangani.

That the city has grown as observed by a non-resident is wonderful to hear. Now, each Gen. Santos resident or General is duty bound to keep the moral fiber strong as the city is poised to grow even more in the upcoming months.

Like I said, "the best is yet to come".

http://www.gensantos.gov.ph/

http://www.sarangani.gov.ph/

Psalm 127:1
Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

The beauty of words

Let’s face it; on several occasions in life, we have been hurt by irresponsible words, deliberate insults and barbs, and gossip. The tongue can either build or destroy and so thus words.
But today, we will focus on the beauty of words.

“Please” and “Thank you“. Magic words indeed. We take for granted the impact and effect of these words on sales ladies; gasoline boys and girls; security guards; street vendors; newspaper boys; gardeners; lavanderas; even on our own kids and spouses.

If you have reduced the usage of these words through the years, there is no harm in revisiting and reusing them. Time and again, let us be reminded not to turn callous, jaded, discourteous, ill-bred and disrespectful. Whatever age we may be right now, let us not forget to practice the magic words.

“I’m sorry.” Boy that really counts. Sometimes, it takes three years for a person to apologize. But when he does, it does count. Perhaps we don’t need three years to apologize. These words, like Pastor Jake says, connect. They are like bridges; they connect the broken; repair the damage. Some damage might be beyond words but “I’m sorry” is the first route to forgiveness, healing and recovery.

“I love you.” Do I need to explain that? In itself, “I love you” says it all. It is beyond the physical. It involves the emotions, mind, soul and spirit. Love is a decision.

On occasions when deep hurts have been caused; repair and restoration works naturally follow “I love you”. It will take time for some; a shorter time for others. Patience is the key.

“I’m praying for you” is the best assurance and reassurance that a person cares about you. Imagine the time he or she spends to pray for you and your life situation, or whatever you are going through in life momentarily. It is comforting to know that somebody is praying for us. It makes us strong and able to move forward and press on.

I am sure there are other beautiful words that impress you. You can add to the list. The most important thing is you practice it every single day of your life.

While at words, I watched with amusement the showdown a.k.a. confrontation between Congresswoman Mitos Magsaysay and Secretary Ricky Carandang on television last week. Congresswoman Magsaysay really went ballistic on Secretary Carandang. Carandang was left defending himself only to be berated again and again. I wonder how that felt. Just imagine the communication process. Mr. Carandang used to be a media person and as such, he was adept at asking intimidating questions, and even bullying public officials, to a certain extent. Well, during that forum, he was the one bullied and intimidated, and by a woman, no less. The situation indeed was reversed. It was incongruous.

The most amusing part was when he apologized in the end, and everybody laughed. You should have seen it. It was ironic. Here she was bullying him; here he was defending himself and trying his best to keep his calm and demeanour. Of course he had to bite back like when he said, “Was that a rhetorical question or do you want me to answer that?” She wisely cracked, “Don’t be arrogant! I’m warning you!” “You’re not in ABS-CBN (anymore). If before you had the temerity to insult elected members of the House when you were in ABS-CBN, sad to say you are on the other side of the shoe right now (sic) and you’re the one being questioned by legislators. If you’re going to be arrogant, don’t be in public service.”

Well, the abrupt ending came when Mr. Carandang said: “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings”. And that ended it all. Or does it? Congresswoman Magsaysay said, “You don’t have to be showbiz about it.”
But indeed it was showbiz. I can’t help but think that it was brilliant on the part of the Secretary to be bullied first and embarrassed before apologizing. But maybe, he was actually bullied and embarrassed and in order to save face, he decided to cut it short by apologizing. Hmmm. The nuances of communication.

The power relations were quite obvious. Congresswoman Magsaysay was holding the power right from the start. She maximized it to the hilt. It was her turf; her territory. Whether Mr. Carandang apologized because it was the most gentlemanly thing to do or he just wants the verbal tirade over and done with, we will never know. But the reality remains that after he uttered, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings”, the tension in the room eased.

So it’s true, “I’m sorry” is a connector. It bridges. Where during the debate, the two actors were totally on different sides of the fence and were on defensive modes (if not offensive), after that line has been spoken, the walls suddenly crumbled; the tension eased and diminished; and there were guffaws and teasing heard.

Oh well, it could have been politics and showbiz combined, but you can’t fail to see the power of the words.

Food for thought: Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. >Benjamin Franklin

A million little things

I went to visit a friend yesterday afternoon after dropping off my son in the university. Well, I lingered a bit in the faculty room of my son’s college department and engaged two professors in animated conversation. The talk centered on the power industry. Haha I’m really a power industry girl. It’s an easy topic to discuss.

When I left, I drove to a friend’s house. I haven’t seen this friend since I left for Iloilo City several months back.

It was a wonderful opportunity to engage in good conversation. Well, I had coffee and eventually dinner. Haha at the rate I’m eating these days, I’m really going to add weight. Anyways, she prepared Panga. Wow it was tasty and I finally felt that I’m back in Gen. Santos City with its flavorful Panga!

It happens that my friend grows plants so I took the chance to ask for some branches and other rooted plants since Ate Teody has the green thumb. Since I returned from Iloilo City, my garden has been truly greened and plants are robust. Not only that, Ate Teody grew vegetables. Really cool.

Betty’s son Ian was just discharged from the hospital for dengue. Last Friday when I communicated with her first, she was in the hospital because Ian was confined for dengue. I wasn’t able to visit him that weekend on account of my son’s university activities. So yesterday, I made sure to visit them. Ian is doing better. Platelet has improved. Thank God. But funny thing what Betty said: “Day, sayang tapos na transfusion when I learned last Friday that you are Type A (blood type). You could have donated blood.” I said, yes I could have. But is that possible? I may donate blood today; then need it the following day. That will be ironic. She said, “Well there are qualifying factors. Women menstruate, so that will be considered including age, status of health, tattoo marks, others.” Anyways, she finally said: “Ian could have had your blood and you two become connected (for life) and then, he will grow more intelligent.” Haha so that’s the bottom line. We both laughed and said, “Yes”. Mothers.

But seriously, is there a study or research that can prove that donated or transfused blood can stimulate brain activity? Calling scientists. Is there research to back up our theory?

Anyways, I left Betty’s house quite full: physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s really good to visit close friends and talk. As it happens, I knew Betty for fifteen years. She was still single then. Her kids are still young while mine are already teenagers but our friendship has grown through the years. We have seen the changing fortunes of time, so to speak. I like that. Changing fortunes of time. So Desiderata.

Betty and I have a long way to go… until old age haha.

You’re the best Betty. You always have been.

Food for thought: Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.

A teenager's thoughts on P-Noy's SONA

By Hezekiah Kit Sales Canlas

These past few days, a lot of people were busy criticizing our President’s State of the Nation Address which was delivered on July 25th. From what I have heard from the people around me, the President’s SONA concentrated only on the wrongdoings and the pitfalls of the past government led by the infamous ex-President (now Pampanga Congresswoman) Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. They said that if the current leadership would only focus on looking for the past sins of the former government and not on the current situation of the nation, our country would not improve. But because I haven’t heard nor read the address, I remained silent and just listened to their comments.

Because I did not catch the SONA on television, I surfed the internet and looked for the exact copy of the piece. From what I have read, the address somehow focused on the anomalies of the past government and how the current leadership is creating solutions to solve these. Most people also said that the SONA of President Aquino was somehow weak and does not have a vision for the Philippines.

At first I was disagreeing on what most people were saying. In my mind, I support the idea of solving these issues first. If we were to rise up as a nation, we should correct the past errors so that we can learn from it, and evade it in the future, and then concentrate on the current status of the country.

But after reading a blog on the internet about the SONA, my views somehow changed. “Yes, solve these issues. What next?” like what my mother always says. Instead of focusing on the faults of the previous government, the President and his team should focus on the things this country needs in order to progress. The President has honest subordinates. That’s why recently, more lapses of the past administration rose from the graveyard.

I think that the government should simultaneously work on the development of our country and on solving the issues of the previous administration. If our government now is strong just like what P-Noy said, and the people are actively working hand in hand with the government, then we can handle both of these challenges with ease.

It’s still a year after his inauguration; let’s give him a chance to prove his worth to lead us.

We should also prove ourselves as responsible and empowered citizens of our country by not waiting for the government’s assistance to help us clear and clean our garbage-stuffed canals and rivers. Instead, we should find the solutions to these common community problems and solve them ourselves.

Seppuku

“Honor for the samurai (superior warrior class) was dearer than life and in many cases; self destruction was regarded not simply as right, but as the only right course. Disgrace and defeat were atoned by committing hara-kiri or seppuku (seppuku (sape-puu-kuu), the Japanese formal language term for ritual suicide hara-kiri (har-rah-kee-ree), the common language term).

Other reasons a samurai committed seppuku were to show contempt for an enemy; to protest against injustice; as a means to get their lord to reconsider an unwise or unworthy action; and as a means to save others.”

I was contemplating on the manner by which former Secretary Angelo Reyes ended his life.

I have read so many brilliant articles written about it, and yet here I am, an ordinary mortal puzzled in a way, by his death.

When the institution I have provided lectures on Gender Sensitivity; Public Speaking; and Leadership from August-October last year, asked me to submit my final examination questions on the subject leadership two weeks back, you can be sure I had a question formulated about the suicide of then Secretary Reyes. I asked my police students to use the leadership lens.

Naturally, I had varied reactions and answers. It was a excellent exercise both for them and myself. They were able to express their views openly without fear and reservation.

According to Japanese tradition, a Samurai is a warrior. I have seen the movie Samurai twice and I must admit I have admired the Japanese more after watching the movie. Their love of country is admirable.

If you are a soldier - an official at that, you are a warrior. A warrior is a samurai.

My readings say that “Other reasons a samurai committed seppuku were to show contempt for an enemy; to protest against injustice; as a means to get their lord to reconsider an unwise or unworthy action; and as a means to save others.”

If one were to analyze that, a warrior’s seppuku or hara-kiri then could be attributed to any one of the above reasons; two or three of the above reasons; or all of the above.

Relating to what former Secretary Reyes did, was it a silent but loud protest against the injustice he felt and was subjected to? Or a means to save others? Or both?

My job is not to moralize.

I give you room to self-debate.

Chicken by the kitchen door

I was having cereal breakfast this morning, cool breeze blowing from the river disturbing the otherwise quiet leaves and branches of the trees adjacent the see-through fence of the staff house which has become my temporary home since I arrived here, when I noticed a fat chicken picking food on the ground outside the kitchen door.

An interesting thought crossed my mind. I thought how simple, bare and primitive a chicken’s life is. It is satisfied with eating crumbs, worms, seeds and anything edible it finds on the ground, grass, plants and even pools of water. A chicken sleeps on tree branches or any nook and cranny of an existing structure, the more dilapidated, the more secure for them.

Humans just let them be. After all, chickens are harmless and quite delicious when cooked.

What if chickens have the capacity to think? Would they ever exchange places with us humans? They probably would. After all, when they get to be human; they don’t get butchered, cooked, chewed and swallowed.

If chickens were human, ah they would probably explore the same kind of curious thought I am having right now.

What a thought.

My river unknown

Finally today Sunday, I stayed on the view deck for nearly three hours. What a wonderful glorious afternoon.

The wind was blowing my hair as I was reading and meditating on Deuteronomy, and then digesting the editorial and commentaries of a national newspaper.

My river unknown was very peaceful and quiet. From where I stood (and sat); no one was in sight except for a bird or two flying over the horizon.

Magic. The river current created this sensation that I was floating, really floating.

Priceless. The experience is priceless. Good for the soul; good for the spirit. It’s a great comfort in a new environment in a new city. It’s my comfort nook.

I will miss this river when I find my own place in my new city.

People

What is it with people?

You love them, hate them, admire them, despise them, need them, ignore them.

What is it with a special person in one’s life?

You love him, hate him, admire him, despise him, need him, ignore him.
You love her, hate her, admire her, despise her, need her, ignore her and worst, deliberately hurt her.

Some people come to you to express a need; some come to ventilate frustrations and life issues; some come just for comfort.

But hey, let’s also stop and pause for a while and think about how we can make other people happy; feel important and special.

I tell you, everyone needs to feel special; cared for and most importantly loved.

Like I always say, “Life is not always about you; it’s also about me”.

Life is not always about him; it’s also about her.

Life is not always about your need; it’s also about my need.

Learn to give; learn to release; learn to love.

Learn to be human; learn to ache; learn to cry.

People have the greatest capacity to hurt other people; but they also have the greatest capacity to love.

Papa's first death anniversary

By December 14, 2010, it would be one full year since father left us. It seems only a few weeks back. But it couldn’t be after all the lonely months I went through. It’s definitely one year as I’m ready to move on. In fact, I have started the healing journey, thanks in great measure to this new job. Father would have been happy and proud. He always imagined me reaching higher grounds than he did in his lifetime. He would always say, “Bett, children would always surpass the achievements of their parents”. Hmmm. Father had so much faith in his stubborn daughter.

I have missed father. I have missed his brilliance. I have missed our politics and discussions. I have missed having a human anchor.

But life’s like that. We are bound to lose the people we love (and hate occasionally) to death.

Having lost both parents, I could only advise those who still have their parents around to love them, cherish them, spend time with them, talk, talk, talk until you drop, so when the time comes to say goodbye, there are no regrets.

I have spent time with both my parents during their sick moments. Those were tough times. I lost mother when I was only in my early thirties. It was 2001. I felt then that she was too young to go; and I was too young to lose a mother. It was the first death in the family. It was odd, painful, hard and tough on all of us including father.

Fast forward to 2009. I had a difficult time dealing with father’s illness. I was trying to shield myself from the pain when he was still very sick. It was my coping. It didn’t help that I had to relocate then from Gen. Santos City to Cebu City and was missing my kids. It added to my loneliness. I had difficulty talking to him because I didn’t know what to talk about. I guess I had to deal then with the reality that he was very sick and I was healthy and it was very strange to me. Papa was always healthy. He seldom got sick. I was more often sick than he was. He was always cautioning me to be careful with my asthma because he knew of some people who died of asthma. In fact, at one time he shared that a child of a friend died of asthma attack. Then suddenly there he was very sick and I was grappling for words.

I think he was also dealing with that reality because he would often say when I turned quiet, “It’s okay Bett, I’m tired now”.

For all the lonely and painful moments during father’s illness and his death thereafter, I knew that healing would always come, in its own time.

I can’t help but recall my last moment with him when we were encouraged to speak to him individually to say goodbye. His eyes were closed. It was my turn to talk to him.

I felt awkward – one of those bizarre moments of your life, but I needed to. I spoke gently in his right ear and said, “Pa, this is Bebett, your most favourite daughter”. What would you know! He opened his eyes and looked at me haha. It was a very brief moment and then he closed his eyes again. What followed was a small ripple of laughter in the room. I spoke to him and then sung his favourite gospel song, followed by his favourite standard songs like “The Nearness of You” and two others.

Hmmm. I can only say this: “A daughter’s relationship with her father is always special, very unique”. It’s a special bond transcending one’s lifetime.

Food for thought: Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other. ~Joseph Joubert

Writer's paradise (",)

It’s Wednesday, December 8th. I am on my fifth night in Iloilo City. The adjustment was easier compared to….ah never mind the comparison.

I am in a staff house and I feel welcomed. It’s nice in here. I have my own room and there’s a toilet and bath. There’s a big entertainment room with a huge TV set. I like it immediately. Most especially that the TV provides cable channels. Who doesn’t love cable TV? There’s WiFi, too. Talk about amenities. God is good. There’s also a spacious dining area with kitchen. At the back, there’s a viewing deck where you can see a river. Hmmm. Writer’s paradise. But I haven’t maximized it yet. I have been busy the past three days. Maybe this weekend, I can maximize the deck. Amalia and Joyce are good to me, as well as the male residents. They say, “Now we have a muse”. Haha. Muse it is!

I left Gen Santos on Friday. I rested overnight in Cebu City in my childhood friend Emcy’s house. She fed me. Wonderful. I just love being with her. I’m always filled.

The following afternoon, I flew to Iloilo City. I was fetched at the airport. I requested the driver to drive to a “Batchoy” house as I desired right away to savour this Ilonggo delicacy. Then we drove to the staff house and I unpacked. You might say that I make it sound so easy. Well, it’s not. Major life changes require lots of courage and adjustment. Whew! You will go through doubts – that’s when you need to mobilize your prayer network. You can also get discouraged and uninspired – that’s when you need pep talk from your friends. And most importantly as you process all the angst, you need to talk things out with your family. In my case, I had lots of talk with my teenagers. It’s important they understand the situation. Talk, talk, talk. What a relief that we can speak.

It’s Friday now. Since I arrived here, it was always raining and the temperature is cold. I can only remember Sunday as a warm afternoon; the rest of the days were wet just like this afternoon. I have survived my first week. Success! Like I told my friends, let’s count it by days so we can manage the angst better. It’s less stressful. Chop the chunk into bits and pieces, as they say.

Tomorrow, I will be looking for a place to stay. I hope God will lead me to the right place and right neighbourhood. I still have nine working days to go before I visit home for the Christmas holidays. Time to be reunited with loved ones and friends. This time, I will travel sans luggage. I will just carry myself. Yehey no stress! The lightest that I travelled in the past was with a backpack which was admittedly a new practice that I adopted while serving Visayas for some eight months. This time, I will adopt a more hassle-free practice: I will carry myself and my shoulder bag only. Boy! I look forward to this trip. No luggage; no backpack; no laptop. Just me!

Lest I forget it, I want to thank my ever-patient doctor: Dr. Naat Montemayor for the check-up and prescriptions before I left. Oh, on top of the anti-asthma medication, I now have to use the nasal spray for rhinitis and another medicine for rhinitis management. Well, she says my immune system is poor, and asthmatic as I am, my rhinitis is also playing tricks on me, thanks to the cold season. Even then, thank God for great doctors, medicines and the resources to buy medicines. But of course, you have to trust the Greatest Physician to take care of you. After all, health is a gift. So even as we take on our medicines, we know whom to anchor our faith on – the Greatest Physician. But the greatest learning I had all these years that I’m asthmatic is to accept my weakness and limitation, and not fret about it. But human as we are, we can’t help but feel anxious and sometimes hopeless. I’m very fortunate that I have friends and teenagers who rally me to go ahead and be well. So, if you’re on medication right now for hypertension; asthma and what have you, I can only tell you to follow your doctor’s instructions. It won’t be easy at times, especially when it costs much but God will always bring relief when the situation gets tough and troubling. He always does.

I am about to get hungry. I will have dinner and then proceed to the staff house. Problem is it’s still raining. Hmmm when will the rain ever stop? Oh well, in the meantime I will enjoy Nesvita cereal milk drink. It will be good for my stomach. It will be good for my heart. (“,) 

Makati weekend (",)

I was in Makati over the weekend. A totally unexpected experience.

I stayed in this condo unit which was huge by condo size. It had a large sala, a spacious dining room, four bedrooms with a toilet each, kitchen and even stock room.

That Sunday night, I had the entire place to myself. Nice. Don’t ask me about ghosts huh! I am quite comfortable being alone and I’m not afraid of ghosts really. Really. (“,)

By late Sunday afternoon, I decided to steel myself and walk the Makati streets. Whew that’s scary. Now, that’s scarier than ghosts!

The traffic in Manila, Makati included intimidates me no end. Here I was a provinciana courageously walking with the throng to cross huge streets! The first two streets were fine; it was a Sunday and traffic was light. Then I had to cross the main street Puyat where I would meet a friend and now I’m really scared haha. I searched for people and guess what I did? You will never guess. I asked the silly question: “Are you crossing?” Aha! The three men just looked at me strangely. One said, no. Then a bus stopped and they hopped in. Great! Now I’m going to deal with this crisis on my own. But alas when I looked towards my left, I saw another group of people who were waiting for the traffic light to change. It was a corner street, easy to cross. I hastily walked towards them and asked the silly question again. When the red light blinked for motorists, I joined the crowd. What a relief! I lived.

I met my friend and we went to a nearby mall which by all intents and purposes looked familiar. It was so like Ayala in Cebu City. Hmmm the structure, architecture, and even the shops and restaurants. I felt transported back in time. Not bad. And surprise, like Ayala in Cebu City, the mall had plenty of huge Christmas trees, and all sorts of “pictorial” corners with huge stuffed bears, tigers, and other animals for shoppers. The ubiquitous pictorial haha. We took our photos, too. Grand. I loved the three huge Christmas Trees where I playfully stood in the middle for the shots. Hey Bonits, when will you upload the photos? I’m excited to see them.

After exploring the area, taking photos, and dining in this Mediterranean-type restaurant, we headed back to my impressive condo building. We took a cab. I requested my friend to drop me at Malugay Street first where the condo building stands because it was scary to return on my own. Haha no more crossing streets for the night.

I slept soundly that night. No ghosts appeared.

The following day was THE day!

It was another experience worth writing. I’m still thinking if I should write it. We will see.

P.S. The photos I used here are inspired by what I saw. (“,)

1000

Call me a kid but I’m just totally delighted today haha. (“,)

My Unexpected Blessings blog site has reached its 1000th reader today. Boy that made me happy!

It’s not easy keeping a blog site. You need to keep the inspiration going to churn out good material. By good, I mean the stuff that I produce. It could be a lonely, sentimental, joyous, victorious topic or something that totally sucks.

Thank you, thank you for consistently reading.

Reaching 1000 pageviews today totally made my day!

A toast to blogging and my wonderful readers all over the world!

You are my inspiration. (“,)

Crossroad

(This space is exclusively given to True Gold and her “Crossroad”. Thank you for the honor.)


I thought our love would be forever
You were everything I could ever want in a
partner
27 years of happiness and love
Who would think it would end this way?

You hurt me badly
Almost destroyed me with your betrayal
All the happy years were just a cover up
A farce to hide the ugliest truth of all

You didn’t love me that much after all
Yours was not true or even exclusive
No conscience, no depth
Could it ever have been called love?

And so, I am standing alone now
In pain and also broken
There is no rainbow beyond the horizon
My tears overflow, my heart shattered

And yet I still miss you so
Your smile, your warmth, I look for
How could my love be enduring and forgiving
When you have left with me with nothing?

Will I ever be happy again?
Will I ever see beauty in my life again?
Will my heart ever mend?
Answers evade me now.

Then you come knocking on my door again
Promise of a tomorrow
Your sweet words and tears fool me once more
Why do I keep on believing?

Do I trust you again?
Do I risk my still broken heart?
Am I doomed to die a second time?
Will my world explode forever more?

My plea to you
Please do not play Russian roulette with my
heart
Don’t come back if you’re just holding the gun
When one bullet will finally break my heart into
Little pieces and then I’m totally done

See my pain, wipe my tears away
Have pity on me and please don’t hurt me again
If you have any mercy in your heart
Let your love be true this time

I am helpless, after all
A prisoner of my love for you
If this is just what you are after
Then treasure it above all

I stand on a crossroad
To give you up or take another chance
Where, oh where, do I find salvation?
Only God knows what lies beyond each path

I still love you
And it seems I will love you for eternity
But you, will you ever truly love me?
I can only cry.
I can only cry.

 True Gold

The best of both worlds

Back to my early morning routine starting today, November 3. It feels good to wake up early. I can now return to my regular sleep pattern. Nice.
The reason: school break is over; regular school days are back.
I can enjoy the cool early morning breeze; admire Mt. Matutum’s splendor; listen to Christmas music on CD and write. Ah write, write. Like I told my friends, I will write until I turn old and gray.
The cool breeze is softly blowing. It makes me shiver. Hmmm it’s really Christmas very soon. It’s the chilly air that gives it away.

The rice field is green. Green is really delightful. I wonder why God chose green for most plants. There must be a reason. Aesthetic? Therapeutic? Scientific? Hmmm. All of the above?
Well, the sky is mostly blue, land is mostly brown; it must be to contrast the beauty and significance of all His creation.
Whatever the motivation, I’m benefited. I see the green rice field every single day (minus the days and months I’m not home naturally) of my life for the past fifteen years.

Well, this beautiful scenery is perfect setting for a writer. Every day, you look at the wide expanse and appreciate what you have for a milieu. You have the best of both worlds. You live in the city but in a rustic setting. What more could you ask for?