A million little things

I went to visit a friend yesterday afternoon after dropping off my son in the university. Well, I lingered a bit in the faculty room of my son’s college department and engaged two professors in animated conversation. The talk centered on the power industry. Haha I’m really a power industry girl. It’s an easy topic to discuss.

When I left, I drove to a friend’s house. I haven’t seen this friend since I left for Iloilo City several months back.

It was a wonderful opportunity to engage in good conversation. Well, I had coffee and eventually dinner. Haha at the rate I’m eating these days, I’m really going to add weight. Anyways, she prepared Panga. Wow it was tasty and I finally felt that I’m back in Gen. Santos City with its flavorful Panga!

It happens that my friend grows plants so I took the chance to ask for some branches and other rooted plants since Ate Teody has the green thumb. Since I returned from Iloilo City, my garden has been truly greened and plants are robust. Not only that, Ate Teody grew vegetables. Really cool.

Betty’s son Ian was just discharged from the hospital for dengue. Last Friday when I communicated with her first, she was in the hospital because Ian was confined for dengue. I wasn’t able to visit him that weekend on account of my son’s university activities. So yesterday, I made sure to visit them. Ian is doing better. Platelet has improved. Thank God. But funny thing what Betty said: “Day, sayang tapos na transfusion when I learned last Friday that you are Type A (blood type). You could have donated blood.” I said, yes I could have. But is that possible? I may donate blood today; then need it the following day. That will be ironic. She said, “Well there are qualifying factors. Women menstruate, so that will be considered including age, status of health, tattoo marks, others.” Anyways, she finally said: “Ian could have had your blood and you two become connected (for life) and then, he will grow more intelligent.” Haha so that’s the bottom line. We both laughed and said, “Yes”. Mothers.

But seriously, is there a study or research that can prove that donated or transfused blood can stimulate brain activity? Calling scientists. Is there research to back up our theory?

Anyways, I left Betty’s house quite full: physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s really good to visit close friends and talk. As it happens, I knew Betty for fifteen years. She was still single then. Her kids are still young while mine are already teenagers but our friendship has grown through the years. We have seen the changing fortunes of time, so to speak. I like that. Changing fortunes of time. So Desiderata.

Betty and I have a long way to go… until old age haha.

You’re the best Betty. You always have been.

Food for thought: Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.

All about Desiderata

Last night, I revisited “Desiderata”. I remember having memorized this poem when I was in high school. We were required to recite it from memory. Since then, the poem has really stayed with me. In the course of my professional life, I have come across it posted on the wall of offices, or standing by a corner framed. It only goes to show that like me, it has inspired so many other individuals.
May I invite you then to revisit the poem stanza by stanza with me? Maybe we can get inspired again by this classic.
1st Stanza: “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.”
What does the line invoke? It invokes a chaotic, stressful world that we have to contend with every single day while we are alive. Then we are reminded that to obtain peace in the midst of the chaos and stress, we can try solitude.
2nd stanza: “As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.”
Simply understood, it talks about tact and diplomacy; compassion and empathy. It also warns us to choose our company wisely.
3rd stanza: “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.”
I love this stanza. It is very straightforward, direct and totally endearing. Comparison will really bring us nowhere. It can lead to jealousy and bitterness especially in people who keep their insecurities and inadequacies hidden very well. Some people will always be greater than us. It’s a fact of life. We had better accept that right here and now.
It says enjoy your achievements but keep your feet planted on the ground. It is true: humility is a real possession both in good times and bad. You become rich, you stay humble; you go through some tough time; you stay humble. It’s a winner.
4th stanza: “Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.”
The heart of this stanza is simply: Be yourself. Do not pretend. Do not play a role. Be real. But at the same time, be discerning and intuitive in your professional and personal dealings.
It also reminds us that the world is full of big and little heroes. We can derive inspiration from them.
5th stanza: “Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.”
Now this stanza is totally a lesson for all of us to learn. For after all, don’t we all turn cynical when in a love relationship we get hurt? We get jaded; callous; and cynical. We say romance is overrated and stuff like that.
Desiderata tells us that love is as perennial as the grass. What a beautiful analogy.
6th stanza: “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.”
Wisdom. This stanza talks about wisdom that we obtain as we sail on in our life journeys. When we have transitioned from youth to adulthood, we would also have developed mental and emotional toughness and strength of character.
It counsels us not to focus on the negative things in life.

7th stanza: “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
This is the stanza that I love the most. “Be gentle with yourself.” A very gentle reminder that we should always take care of ourselves; that we do not neglect ourselves and take “us” for granted; not to be too harsh on ourselves. We ought to be the very first people to love ourselves so we are able to love others.
And since God created you, you have the right to be here. And because you are here, you are witness to the many wondrous things that God has caused the universe to unfold for everyone.
8th stanza: “Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.”
The stanza best explains it. It is crystal clear. Whatever we go through in life, we know whom to anchor. Do you know whom to anchor?
9th stanza: “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
Yes, with life’s unfairness and broken dreams – don’t we all experience that? it is still a beautiful world. We may not see the beauty at times, but it truly is. So we must keep the cheerful disposition and strive to be happy.

Thank you Max Ehrmann for composing Desiderata. The author is a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana, who lived from 1872 to 1945. It has been reported that Desiderata was inspired by an urge that Ehrmann wrote about in his diary.