Showing posts with label Loneliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Loneliness. Show all posts

Monday, March 21, 2011

Are you homesick?

I am finally writing this one. This is for Daisy who has encouraged me to write this piece since January I think, and all the families whose loved ones are situated away from home.

Now I know how it feels to be an OFW who gets sick abroad.

It’s intensely emotional, tough, confusing, and even bordering on hopelessness.

It’s okay when you’re healthy. Try being sick and your world turns upside down. First, you need to make sure you eat three full meals daily and snack bites in-between so you are well-fed and nourished. Otherwise, you’ll get sicker. Imagine being sick and not eating.

Second, you need to see a new doctor. If you are new in the city, you need to rely on the help of your colleagues and company nurse to assist you. You also need to rely on the support of your colleagues for transportation requirements.

You anchor on the compassion and mercy of colleagues and new friends. That’s how simple and complex it is. You have no family and relatives to turn to. You are in a new place after all. Everything is new to you.

Then your feelings of being alone, homesick, lonely and disconnected become more pronounced because hey, you are sick. You miss home. You miss your family. You miss the comfort of being in your own room, in your own bed.

Then you start asking, “Is this worth it?”

Well you see my friends, we only see the beauty of an OFW’s life. Travels. Perks. Chocolates. New condo. Car. Vacations. Our eyes are selective.

We simplify the emotions he goes through as he leaves his children and home. It’s tough.

On top of that, he has to contend with a demanding job like his whole life depends on it. He has to adjust with a new work environment; cope with new bosses while maintaining his seemingly tough exterior but marshmallow interior. And yet, we only see the outside. We fail to understand what’s going on inside.

Oh well, I only desire to elevate to a higher level of understanding the fact that OFWs are human, too. And because of that, we also need to understand and appreciate their simple but complex humanity.

Try that.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Crossroad

(This space is exclusively given to True Gold and her “Crossroad”. Thank you for the honor.)


I thought our love would be forever
You were everything I could ever want in a
partner
27 years of happiness and love
Who would think it would end this way?

You hurt me badly
Almost destroyed me with your betrayal
All the happy years were just a cover up
A farce to hide the ugliest truth of all

You didn’t love me that much after all
Yours was not true or even exclusive
No conscience, no depth
Could it ever have been called love?

And so, I am standing alone now
In pain and also broken
There is no rainbow beyond the horizon
My tears overflow, my heart shattered

And yet I still miss you so
Your smile, your warmth, I look for
How could my love be enduring and forgiving
When you have left with me with nothing?

Will I ever be happy again?
Will I ever see beauty in my life again?
Will my heart ever mend?
Answers evade me now.

Then you come knocking on my door again
Promise of a tomorrow
Your sweet words and tears fool me once more
Why do I keep on believing?

Do I trust you again?
Do I risk my still broken heart?
Am I doomed to die a second time?
Will my world explode forever more?

My plea to you
Please do not play Russian roulette with my
heart
Don’t come back if you’re just holding the gun
When one bullet will finally break my heart into
Little pieces and then I’m totally done

See my pain, wipe my tears away
Have pity on me and please don’t hurt me again
If you have any mercy in your heart
Let your love be true this time

I am helpless, after all
A prisoner of my love for you
If this is just what you are after
Then treasure it above all

I stand on a crossroad
To give you up or take another chance
Where, oh where, do I find salvation?
Only God knows what lies beyond each path

I still love you
And it seems I will love you for eternity
But you, will you ever truly love me?
I can only cry.
I can only cry.

 True Gold

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Musing of a lonely soul

Eighteen minutes past one in the morning. I am still awake. I have been lonely since Friday night, mostly because I miss father.

But I am coping better now compared with a few months ago. I would call it progress. Is it Jen? I need to ask Jenny Olave because she is still awake and expecting to read this reflection as soon as I am done.

Like I always told myself, I will be patient. I have read from a book that we ought to be the first persons to grant ourselves patience. If other people can be patient with us, why can’t we? Indeed, why not?