The Mangrove

Coffee and bread. I opened the screen door and looked out the river. It was coffee time this afternoon.

I have ceased to drink coffee since three weeks back. I have decided when I got sick that I will kick out the habit. So far, so good. I slept the whole afternoon and when I woke up, I wanted to eat bread. I told myself that having coffee for bread is not in violation of my self-imposed rule.

I was having coffee and eating bread while communing with nature. The birds were hovering across the river. Ah the mangrove tree was standing; leaves dancing. Totally a beautiful scene. Nature is truly beautiful. You stare at it and you marvel at the power of its Creator.

As usual when these experiences happen, I am usually alone. It’s a communion. What a lucky girl I am. Most people have to travel to see what I see every single day. Yeah, at times, the beauty simply escapes me; work life is demanding. But when I have my slow moments which usually happen during weekends, then I get to commune again with the beauty that surrounds me.

Real beauty makes us drift. We remember our loved ones – those who are living and long gone. It makes us revisit our charming memories; I only choose the good ones naturally including past loves haha. Sure why not?

Then it occurred to me: hey, I can write about this scene. Yes, I could.

So here it is. Inspired by a cup of coffee.

Oh, I always go back to my first love: Life is a cup of coffee.

And the mangrove tree continues to thrive on the riverbank. Just like me. Just like you. Enchanting.

P.S. Last weekend, I saw a small snake swallow a live lizard by the mangrove roots. It's ugly.

1000

Call me a kid but I’m just totally delighted today haha. (“,)

My Unexpected Blessings blog site has reached its 1000th reader today. Boy that made me happy!

It’s not easy keeping a blog site. You need to keep the inspiration going to churn out good material. By good, I mean the stuff that I produce. It could be a lonely, sentimental, joyous, victorious topic or something that totally sucks.

Thank you, thank you for consistently reading.

Reaching 1000 pageviews today totally made my day!

A toast to blogging and my wonderful readers all over the world!

You are my inspiration. (“,)

All about inspiration

My Public Speaking lecture on October 4 and 5 was truly an inspiring experience. The response of my forty two (42) police officer-participants was most heartening and when it was time for them to deliver their individual speeches, I was inspired.
It was inspiring because I saw them worked on delivering their speeches using the essentials of public speaking that I taught them. Isn’t that the greatest fulfillment of a mentor? It simply is.
This week, I will return to the institution to handle Leadership for the same participants. I’m looking forward to another fruitful experience with the group.
o O o
On October 13th, I will try to inspire senior Information Technology (IT) students of the Notre Dame of Dadiangas University (NDDU), this city who are about to finish their On-the-Job-Training (OJT) exposure. The theme of the gathering is “Convergence: A challenge to Information Technology enthusiasts in the academe and industry”.
We are constantly faced with the challenge of inspiring. We have to rise up to the challenge.
o O o
In most cases, I would say inspiration usually comes from people: people of all shapes and sizes; beliefs and convictions.
They come at unexpected moments when we least expect them. Of course God uses people to inspire other people. It’s always by divine appointment and divine providence.
It also depends on us. Like me, I always desire to inspire others most especially when I do lectures and speak before an audience. It gives me pleasure to be able to inspire my participants.
o O o

I returned to Gen. Santos City in April, this year, after a short professional journey in the Visayas. In June this year, I decided to return to school. The motivation was to help me cope with my father’s loss. I am the type who copes badly when I lose a parent. I only enrolled in one subject. Being in school is a coping mechanism and enrolling in several subjects would unnecessarily stress me.
True enough, school gave me something to think about. It also afforded me the opportunity to build new friendships and more importantly to revisit the lessons I learned in the past, and learn new ones.
One of the requirements to fully pass the subject is to organize a Seminar. So on October 9th, our Thursday class in tandem with the Saturday class organized the “Public Service is a Public Trust” Seminar with Atty. Marilou B. Unabia of the Office of the Ombudsman-Davao as speaker.

It is true: education should not be confined within the four corners or four walls of the classroom. It is incumbent upon teachers to inspire and motivate students by employing teaching approaches and methodologies that are unique, creative and fun.
It may be tough at times but that’s the only way to do it. Hey, we don’t want to bore our students to death, right? Or employ outdated teaching approaches that have seen better days. Our students deserve only the best from us. It’s the only way to go.
o O o
The semester break is here. Thank God. Parents can now relax with expenses most especially on their college students.
I don’t know about you but having a college student is really heavy on the pockets of parents.
The break will enable the parents to relax a bit on the required weekly allowances and channel the same to other home needs.
I look forward to my son Hezekiah Kit’s vacation at home for the duration of the semester break.
Thank God for breaks.
o O o

Friends are a true source of inspiration. Last week, these ladies have been an excellent source of inspiration and I would like to thank them individually: Jennifer Felisilda who is now based in Cebu City by virtue of work; Jet Reyes of PNB-Santiago; Ruth Fernandez of BDO-Pendatun (but I like to call it BDO-Sydney), and Maricris (Cris) Cabalhin of Metro Manila. Thank you ladies. Your presence in my life is refreshing and soothing.
Incidentally during my Visayas journey, Jennifer Felisilda provided me company during her breaks from her Call Center job. We had plenty of bonding moments, most especially when I had bouts of loneliness being away from my kids and hubby. She was a great source of comfort when I was alone and lonely in Cebu City. She is so much younger than me but she is mature in many ways.
Maricris is a wonderful woman in many ways. We used to work together in the last power company I served. We worked together for only a short time but we became closer when we both left the company. Thanks Cris. Like I always say, you are the greatest!
Ms. Ruth, Ahh, a beautiful woman inside-out whom I got to know through Marsha. Very attuned to her humanity; grounded on the basics, and carinosa. Who wouldn’t love a woman like Ruth?
Jet, she is the older sister I don’t have. Okay, okay she is going to wring my neck for saying that. She is only one year older than me, for all intents and purposes, but you know I am the oldest sister in the family, so it is really comforting to be treated like a younger sister. Get it? She is a lovely petite beauty.

And of course, my prayer “power” partner Catherine Pedregosa Velasco. Cathy is my constant source of prayer back-up for three years now. Thanks Cathy. I am so grateful that our paths crossed.
Like I always said, life’s surprises come in either tall or thin packages called people.

Food for thought: If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair. > Samuel Johnson

Life stuff

Wednesday last week, I taught Gender Awareness for some forty two (42) police officers who are taking up their Junior Leadership Course at PPSC-RTS 12. This group is fun to be with. Their interaction is real, witty, funny, and based on true-to-life accounts. Some inputs were totally hilarious; some would leave you speechless. Of the forty two police officers, five (5) were women and the rest, men.
And like all gender awareness and gender sensitivity lectures and trainings I did for most people, the subject on sex and sexuality is the most interesting part. What is it about sex and sexuality that titillates the imagination? Haha.
Let me mention some sexual rights that we tackled:
 The highest attainable standard of sexual health, including access to sexual and reproductive health care services
 Seek, receive and impart information related to sexuality
 Sexuality education
 Respect for bodily integrity
 Choose their partner
 Decide to be sexually active or not
 Consensual sexual relations
 Consensual marriage
 Decide whether or not, and when, to have children; and
 Pursue satisfying, safe and pleasurable sexual life
Those who are not in agreement with the sexual rights mentioned above may raise a question (and explain why). These sexual rights were taken up when I participated in a Seminar-Training for GAD Trainers during my colorful TRANSCO days.
The gender awareness lecture lasted for four hours only. I must say it’s very short for such an interesting topic. Perhaps it could be increased to eight hours next time?
After the gender awareness lecture, I was requested by Ms. Carms of PPSC-RTS 12 to handle Public Speaking with practicum on Monday and Tuesday, October 4 and 5. Wonderful! October 4 and 5 are special dates for me. Truly special: for all intents and purposes.
So over the weekend, I reviewed my lecture material and input some needed revisions.
o O o
I had brewed coffee at East Asia Royale Hotel late Thursday afternoon courtesy of Rombar Bartolome. What would you know! While sipping coffee, a friend whom I have not seen for over a year suddenly materialized right in front of me! Whoa! Totally serendipitous. I did not even know he was in the city. I should thank Rombar for the coffee. It afforded me the rare chance to see this guy again. Sorry folks, I couldn’t say his name. He is too popular for comfort these days. I do not want to add to his woes. Knowing him, he does not thrive in unwanted popularity.
o O o

Friday night was special bonding time with the ladies of Rotary Club of Greater General Santos at Sunset Bistro at Robinson’s Place hosted by President Petite V.
It was a small group that night, very animated, candid and totally relaxed. I would say solidarity defined the atmosphere. But I like the “candid part” the most haha. Don’t worry ladies, I totally get you.
I have always believed that women need solidarity with other women. Women solidarity strengthens, renews, validates, confirms and appreciates our value and worth as women.
Thanks President Petite for graciously hosting the get-together.
Incidentally, Prexy Petite V has requested me to speak on “Ethics in the Workplace” during the regular fellowship meeting on October 20. Time to study.
o O o
The months September and October saw my house hosting the friends and classmates of Shiloh Ruthie twice weekly. It seems like I see them almost daily actually. Hmmm. Curious.
Well, the school intramurals is coming up and they are involved in the “Battle of the Bands”. Since my daughter plays the drums and we have musical instruments at home, they troop to the house to practice. So this quiet weekend, they are here again to practice their number.
What can I say? I’m writing my column and they are strumming the guitar, playing the drums, singing their hearts out!
But I’m totally cool about it. Like they say, it is best when moms (and dads) know who their kids hang out with. It is safer and wise.
And their visits also maximize the use of the musical instruments at home. Splendid investment.
o O o
The Global Paradox: With technology, the world has become bigger and smaller at the same time. And we all benefit from it.
I do not want to intellectualize this. I just want to treat it lightly. Imagine Facebook. You get connected with your friends anywhere in the world with just one click. Twenty years ago or so, we had to call via long distance and write via snail mail if we wanted to stay connected with friends and family abroad. Fast forward to 2010, what do you have? Plenty. Real plenty huh! The world has shrunk: technology has enabled us to connect so fast; and the players – we have increased; our world has turned bigger. That in simple terms is the beauty of the global paradox.
o O o

Food for thought: May the gods grant you all things which your heart desires, and may they give you a husband and a home and gracious concord, for there is nothing greater and better than this -when a husband and wife keep a household in oneness of mind, a great woe to their enemies and joy to their friends, and win high renown. > Homer, The Odyssey

Cops speak

This month of August, I have been most privileged to mentor the police trainees of region 12 in the area of public speaking. On August 2-3, I handled forty-eight police trainees composing Alpha Company: young and vibrant women and men who have decided to join the police force for varied personal and professional reasons.

I have to admit, I had such wonderful time learning with the trainees who called me Professor. Professor, hmmm, quite flattering.

I taught them the essentials of public speaking and then after the lecture, one by one they impressed me with their individual speeches. Naturally, I critiqued them. It is part of the learning process. I also encouraged them to learn how to critique a public speaker. Teaching them how to critique will also train them so that by the time they leave the halls of the Philippine Public Safety College (PPSC) - the Police Regional Training School (RTS), they would have become adept at observing and learning from great speakers, most especially in the areas they will eventually serve.  

Before the group starts with their individual speeches, I always encourage them with this simple line: Impress me. Haha isn’t that tough for beginners? It may sound so but usually in all the public speaking classes I have handled, the participants normally rise to the challenge. You set the standards high; they elevate themselves at par with the standards. No sweat.

Lest I be misunderstood, I always give them time to prepare their speeches and practice it before the actual exercise. We also deal with platform panic or stage fright. I give them tips to “fly their butterflies”, so to speak.

On August 9-10, it was the turn of Bravo Company consisting of forty-seven students to learn the essentials of public speaking.

By afternoon of August 9^th, eight participants have spoken. Because they volunteered, they received something from me. Talk about motivation huh! Thirty-nine more trainees spoke on the final day of my lecture, August 10^th.

Like writing, I love public speaking. For the past ten years, several doors have been opened to me because of my love for it. I have taught at the Regional Mobile Group (RMG) 12 in 2004; 602^nd Infantry Brigade (IB), Philippine Army (PA) in Carmen, North Cotabato under then Colonel (now General) Pete Soria in 2008; PhilDARE officers of PhilDARE-Gen. Santos Chapter in 2007; Police Community Relations Team Training where I handled day-long Public Speaking lecture at RTS 12 in 2007; Communication lecture integrated in the Speakers’ Bureau Seminar at 601st IB, PA (now 1002 IB) in 2004; Public Speaking lecture incorporated in the SOT Refresher Training at 1002 IB, PA in Malandag, Malungon, Sarangani in 2007; young professional group belonging to Bread of Life Ministries in 2001; Gen. Santos “Twin Star” Jaycees, Inc. in 2003, and other venues.

It is really true that when you put your heart and focus on something you are truly passionate about, you will reap your just rewards. It will open doors for you and most importantly, you are able to share that passion. It is contagious.

After all, public speaking is both a discipline and an art. Discipline because you need to study it; read books; listen and learn from great speakers and art because as soon as you have mastered the craft, you can now experiment and create your own style.

The police trainees of both Alpha and Bravo companies lived up to the challenge. I saw how nervous some were when they delivered their first speech but I also saw how they worked on overcoming their “butterflies”. Like they say if you want to conquer your fear, confront it. But naturally, you must have a mentor, an ally or support group in the process to ease the way. These trainees knew that everyone in the group supports each other. They all want each other to succeed; to finish well. That’s the spirit.

At the end of the training, I asked my lecture participants to evaluate me. It was their turn to critique their lecturer. What all of them wrote is really heartwarming and uplifting. Good for the heart. Thank you women and men of Alpha and Bravo companies. I say women as well because there are twelve female police trainees for Alpha and another twelve female trainees for Bravo. That’s about twenty four women aspiring to be in the police service. Oh the sacrifices they have to go through just to join the police service. Indeed these are brave men and women. They are courageous. They are indeed “brave hearts”.  I only have great admiration for them for braving the training.

But sacrifices always bring out rewards. So my dear police trainees (a.k.a. brave hearts), carry on and finish strong! 

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Food for thought: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Beauty comes with age

1. My certified fashionista girl friend Cecile encouraged me to write about fashion, beauty and love. Ah what a tall order.

Fashion requires research. Beauty requires reading. But love, ah that’s tricky.

I promised her I will think about it. I do not want to sound vain by discussing the subject matter from my own perspective. But she nonchalantly said, “Why not gorgeous?” Indeed why not?

So let us attempt to unravel the subject matter as light and easy as possible. First, sleep. Some people say they only need four to six hours of sleep a day and off they go to the next activity. Let us describe that as living life on the edge. But most people do not fancy living life on the edge. We are not cut out for that. For some, there may be a great need to sleep less but still, your body will eventually find a way to recover lost sleep.

Well personally, I can’t be sharp with four to six hours of sleep. I need to sleep eight hours a day to feel fully rested, sharp and alert. Deprive me of regular sleep and I turn very dull, lacking focus and cranky. I can’t lack focus with the kind of work I do.

If I incur sleep debt (lack of sleep) the previous night, I need to make up for that loss the following day in order to feel rested. That’s sleep for me. It is vital.

Second, diet. Discipline is the key. Well, my discipline started a long way back from college so it is not very tough for me to keep it. Do not overeat. Naturally your genetic make-up is a big factor working for you: both my parents were slim people but it also helped tremendously that I watched my food intake. I do not overindulge.

In the past, I do not drink as much water as eight glasses a day but when I was assigned in Cebu City for eight months, I developed the habit of drinking several glasses of water every day. I lost count of the number of glasses actually. All I can say is it is good for the body; flushes out the toxins.

And now the vain part, for body cellulite which we all start to develop as we grow older, I used Avon anti-cellulite for nearly three years. I alternated it with Avon body sculpt. Middle of last year however, I found out that Nivea introduced the anti-cellulite gel. Since I had no more Avon lady-contact in Cebu City, I shifted to Nivea. And it has been a very good substitute. I even stuck to it until now.

Exercise. Dance. It is very good exercise.

In Cebu, I was looking for ballroom dancing lessons. However, the classes were provided at Abellana National High School in downtown Cebu and my previous office was located in Talamban. The distance is like Gen. Santos City-proper to Calumpang or Tambler and the traffic is heavy in the afternoons so I did not pursue it.

However, you can dance at home. I used to dance at home for three years until I got tired of it and moved on to treadmill exercise which I only did for less than a year. Some inspiration huh! No luck in the exercise department. So I just clean the house by the weekend for exercise. Then when I bought my car, I wash the car every weekend for exercise. You see my simple notion of exercise is sweating. Many would disagree of course. But like I said, it is my simple notion.

In Bohol when I visit during the weekends while I was assigned in Cebu, we usually go out to dance. Emcy, my sister Charmaine who was vacationing for three months from the U.S. then, Warly and I go out just to dance. You see, we belong to the generation that really loves dancing for fun. Try it. You will forget all your worries and have fun as well. You will sweat and that serves the purpose.

Skin. Plenty of good skin comes from genes. But enhancing it could be achieved through the use of lotions. Don’t laugh now but I have used Johnson’s Baby Lotion for the longest time ever. I do not use fancy lotions; just the simple and time-tested JBL.

And may I add, please do not change the color of your skin. Enjoy the skin you are born in.

Face hmmm. Tricky subject. When I reached my thirties, the freckles started to come out. But since I’m not fair-skinned, I was not so concerned about it. Freckles come with age. Aha. For the face, I use alternately Oil of Olay and Ponds. I tried Celeteque for some time but I always returned to Oil of Olay. We always return to our first love huh! Oh well, just find the product that suits you best. But please, do not experiment with products that are not tested by BFAD or risk destroying your face.

For women in their forties, be generous with moisturizers.

And another good tip for women in their forties. Use lip gloss generously. I read that from a fashion magazine. Women in their forties should use lip gloss.

As for clothes, well, if you are in your forties, I bet you have set your fashion statement. Accentuate the assets. Show off that lovely pair of legs. Emphasize those killer hips, as my pilot-friend said. Expose those slim shoulders. Accessorize that long neck. Dress up; dress down depending on the occasion.

Invest in good jeans. Your wardrobe must include jeans that flatter your body shape, whatever shape it is. I learned this tip from a fashion magazine and it really makes sense.

And here’s what I like best. Wear shorts when doing groceries. It’s very comfy and you definitely look cool. Trust me. You will enjoy doing groceries in shorts. Push your carts in your cool shorts at Robinson’s.

Invest in accessories. They are trendy and will last long. I’m not a watch person but I have some wrist and arm pieces courtesy of my fashionista sister Charmaine. She gave them all to me and I enjoy wearing them. Who would not when they are free huh!

Wear heels. Find heels that will not kill you. Wedge shoes are good for your feet and legs. They do not hurt.

Read, read, read and read some more. Nothing is more appealing than a woman who has a mind of her own. Oh yes, you can appear intimidating as well, but hey that comes with the territory. Just ask the nearest man around.

Hair. Ah I love to color my hair. I usually do it twice or thrice a year. It depends on my inspiration. I do it myself when I feel like it. When I feel like splurging, I go to the beauty salon. Try experimenting with colors. If it is your first time to color, I suggest you try the more conservative shades. Just buy a good product in the market, follow the instructions and voila, you have that new look!

Here’s another tip, if your eyes hurt and you need eyeglasses, wear one. Stop fidgeting and being conscious about wearing them; they do not bite. Some women I know tell me it is inconvenient to wear eyeglasses. They say eyeglasses make them look old; and the like. But hey, what is the real score? You need them; wear them. It is as simple as that. No fuss. Invest in a good pair of eyeglasses and just wear them.

For pampering, indulge in facials from time to time. I say occasionally because it could become expensive if done regularly. But if you have the extra budget, go for it. After all, it’s all about you occasionally. Yes, there must be a time when “it’s all about you”.

And to complete the story, I have discovered for over two years now that complete body massage not only relaxes me but more effectively, minimizes my premenstrual syndrome or PMS. I finally found the therapy! And so I am now a believer of monthly complete body massage.

So you see beauty is not about products. Products enhance yes, but beauty is all about knowing yourself. “Know thyself” according to at least six ancient Greek sages, is the best way of keeping your beauty about you.

Comments are welcome at belca.87@gmail.com.