December break

December was truly an experience. It was the first for me. I returned home in late November for my much-needed break after the nerve-wracking earthquake experience in Bohol and the succeeding blackout affecting the province after Yolanda. It was not an easy time for Boholanos. So you can imagine my desire to go home. Ah rest, I craved for it.

By December, I was beginning to enjoy the homecoming when I got sick. I confined in the hospital before Christmas. My friendly doctor made sure I discharged on December 22, days before Christmas day. Instead of getting well, I felt sicker. Talk about peri-menopausal discomforts and the harsh effects of antibiotics on my system.

Well, I just let December 24 passed. No frills, no fuzz. By afternoon of December 25, I went back to the hospital. This time I was treated for gastritis. My first time to experience two confinements in less than a week. It was also my first-time ever to undergo endoscopy. There’s always a first time for everything huh! Well, endoscopy was not a pleasant experience I tell you, but I survived haha. Best part is my stomach is clear. Thank God.

When I left the hospital by evening of December 27, I was looking forward to a wonderful New Year celebration with my young adults. I used to call them teens but they have turned into young adults now with their own unique mind sets.

True, we had a more fun New Year’s Eve devouring a giant pizza. The pizza lasted until mid-morning. It was huge, I tell you.

January 1 was pleasurable. Hezekiah turned twenty and his high school friends came over to the house for an afternoon of guess what? You would never guess! Two giant pizzas. The fun lasted until late into the night. It was so good to be with young people. You imbibe their zeal, energy, and passion for life.

Well, thank God December ended with January 1st. And it was fun!

There's something about Daisy

How delightful! My friends are getting younger haha. That’s what one gets when one enrolls in law school. One particular young friend of mine is Daisy. Daisy is the quiet type who scores high. She reads and punishes herself to read more to prepare for an exam. I wished I had that dogged determination. I call her topnotcher because she oftentimes scores highest during exams.

Of course, she is the product of great genes. Her parents are both actively engaged in the legal profession.

I will be missing Daisy. In the landscape of our lives, the stars will always align to enable us to meet new people to stretch us and expand us. Friendship is one sure way of expanding our lives. Never ever doubt for a moment that the friendships you build will go unrewarded. For friendship itself is the best reward.

Daisy Girl, fret not, the stars will always align for both of us. 

Cool change

“If there’s one thing in my life that’s missing, it’s the time that I spend alone. Sailing on the cool and bright clear water.” Those are the first two lines of “Cool change” by “The Little River Band”.
I was out with Jessica and her hubby tonight to listen to music of my generation courtesy of the regular band at Mismo bar. This is my second time to visit Mismo this year. My first visit was last month. The quiet entertainment suddenly turned celebrated when Cesar Montano unexpectedly materialized on the scene and sang two songs from his newest album. Methinks he was promoting in all the city bars that night. After staying for about twenty minutes, he and his entourage of musicians vanished, maybe hitting another bar. Haha fancy that. You will never know what awaits you in a bar huh! We were just there for music and we had a bonus, to boot.
I remember being there for the first time a couple of years ago. 2007 I think. Oh my, it’s been ages ago.

But anyway, we all have our favorite music and I must say I love real bands. Not the neophytes who are loud, out of pitch or tune, and look rowdy onstage but the pro that can carry a tune effortlessly.
As far back as I can remember I have always enjoyed live bands influenced to a great extent by our eldest brother Angelus who played bass guitar in a professional band since college. We used to tag along each time they had a gig in one of Tagbilaran City’s bars many years ago. Was that too long ago? Haha. Anyways, even when I have left Bohol to work in Cebu and eventually relocated to Gen. Santos (and back to Cebu; and then Iloilo), I have always wanted to listen to real music. I always find time to listen to real music. It’s true. Music is food for the soul. Live performers especially the professional ones create beautiful music that pleases the ears and senses. It’s like magic. You relish the sound; you relish the good feeling.
Whatever shall we do without music huh! Your guess is as good as mine.

A million little things

I went to visit a friend yesterday afternoon after dropping off my son in the university. Well, I lingered a bit in the faculty room of my son’s college department and engaged two professors in animated conversation. The talk centered on the power industry. Haha I’m really a power industry girl. It’s an easy topic to discuss.

When I left, I drove to a friend’s house. I haven’t seen this friend since I left for Iloilo City several months back.

It was a wonderful opportunity to engage in good conversation. Well, I had coffee and eventually dinner. Haha at the rate I’m eating these days, I’m really going to add weight. Anyways, she prepared Panga. Wow it was tasty and I finally felt that I’m back in Gen. Santos City with its flavorful Panga!

It happens that my friend grows plants so I took the chance to ask for some branches and other rooted plants since Ate Teody has the green thumb. Since I returned from Iloilo City, my garden has been truly greened and plants are robust. Not only that, Ate Teody grew vegetables. Really cool.

Betty’s son Ian was just discharged from the hospital for dengue. Last Friday when I communicated with her first, she was in the hospital because Ian was confined for dengue. I wasn’t able to visit him that weekend on account of my son’s university activities. So yesterday, I made sure to visit them. Ian is doing better. Platelet has improved. Thank God. But funny thing what Betty said: “Day, sayang tapos na transfusion when I learned last Friday that you are Type A (blood type). You could have donated blood.” I said, yes I could have. But is that possible? I may donate blood today; then need it the following day. That will be ironic. She said, “Well there are qualifying factors. Women menstruate, so that will be considered including age, status of health, tattoo marks, others.” Anyways, she finally said: “Ian could have had your blood and you two become connected (for life) and then, he will grow more intelligent.” Haha so that’s the bottom line. We both laughed and said, “Yes”. Mothers.

But seriously, is there a study or research that can prove that donated or transfused blood can stimulate brain activity? Calling scientists. Is there research to back up our theory?

Anyways, I left Betty’s house quite full: physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s really good to visit close friends and talk. As it happens, I knew Betty for fifteen years. She was still single then. Her kids are still young while mine are already teenagers but our friendship has grown through the years. We have seen the changing fortunes of time, so to speak. I like that. Changing fortunes of time. So Desiderata.

Betty and I have a long way to go… until old age haha.

You’re the best Betty. You always have been.

Food for thought: Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.

Makati weekend (",)

I was in Makati over the weekend. A totally unexpected experience.

I stayed in this condo unit which was huge by condo size. It had a large sala, a spacious dining room, four bedrooms with a toilet each, kitchen and even stock room.

That Sunday night, I had the entire place to myself. Nice. Don’t ask me about ghosts huh! I am quite comfortable being alone and I’m not afraid of ghosts really. Really. (“,)

By late Sunday afternoon, I decided to steel myself and walk the Makati streets. Whew that’s scary. Now, that’s scarier than ghosts!

The traffic in Manila, Makati included intimidates me no end. Here I was a provinciana courageously walking with the throng to cross huge streets! The first two streets were fine; it was a Sunday and traffic was light. Then I had to cross the main street Puyat where I would meet a friend and now I’m really scared haha. I searched for people and guess what I did? You will never guess. I asked the silly question: “Are you crossing?” Aha! The three men just looked at me strangely. One said, no. Then a bus stopped and they hopped in. Great! Now I’m going to deal with this crisis on my own. But alas when I looked towards my left, I saw another group of people who were waiting for the traffic light to change. It was a corner street, easy to cross. I hastily walked towards them and asked the silly question again. When the red light blinked for motorists, I joined the crowd. What a relief! I lived.

I met my friend and we went to a nearby mall which by all intents and purposes looked familiar. It was so like Ayala in Cebu City. Hmmm the structure, architecture, and even the shops and restaurants. I felt transported back in time. Not bad. And surprise, like Ayala in Cebu City, the mall had plenty of huge Christmas trees, and all sorts of “pictorial” corners with huge stuffed bears, tigers, and other animals for shoppers. The ubiquitous pictorial haha. We took our photos, too. Grand. I loved the three huge Christmas Trees where I playfully stood in the middle for the shots. Hey Bonits, when will you upload the photos? I’m excited to see them.

After exploring the area, taking photos, and dining in this Mediterranean-type restaurant, we headed back to my impressive condo building. We took a cab. I requested my friend to drop me at Malugay Street first where the condo building stands because it was scary to return on my own. Haha no more crossing streets for the night.

I slept soundly that night. No ghosts appeared.

The following day was THE day!

It was another experience worth writing. I’m still thinking if I should write it. We will see.

P.S. The photos I used here are inspired by what I saw. (“,)

One fine day

This is my first article for “The Greater”, the official bulletin of the Rotary Club of Greater General Santos.
I have thought of many column titles last week before settling on “One fine day”. Let me share some of my choices: “Get naked” to evoke naughtiness haha. Well, just to attract attention. “Where you belong” but it sounds so “GMA”. “Love language” but it’s too mushy for comfort. “Saffron Skies” which is my blog site – I could use that and “Saffron Skies” could become a by-word effectively generating memory recall. Hmmm not bad. I even thought of using “Bridges”, my column title in The Mindanao Bulletin. Ah choices, choices.
The pressure to produce a good column title is on me. Eventually, I think “One fine day” is perfect because it resonates with positivism, hope, and even a glimmer of romance. Oh, oh there goes my romantic side again. Blame it on my genes haha most especially my father’s genes. But what’s wrong with being romantic? Romance is beautiful. It ushers in wonderful feelings. I love romance. I may be jaded at times, but not too jaded to hate it huh!

Well, perhaps we can write an article about romance come Valentine’s Day, but right now, let’s touch on friendship. After all, I see that beautiful friendships germinate inside the club. So, here’s to friendship and more!

P.S. This is only the introduction of my new column in The Rotary. (",)

Rich tapestry of life

When I lost mother in October 2001, I had a hard time coping. Among the things I did that helped me cope was reading. I read several books: books on coping, healing, moving on, maximizing your life, and some others.
One of the more helpful books was The Art of Coping by Fredrica R. Halligan, Ph.D. I borrowed this book from Sister Lucia Arana, OND, my MBA classmate who became my close friend, and one of those who helped me get through that dark period in my life. Incidentally Sister Lucia is now based in Jolo and I really desire to visit her there.
When father died a couple of months ago and I returned Gen. Santos City last summer, I picked the book again and read. I put it on a nook to read when I have the need.
Today, I picked it again and my attention was caught by the page on “Friendship”.

Allow me to lift some passages from the book that focus on “Friendship”. It says loneliness and lack of companionship are among the greatest unrecognized contributors to illness and premature death. Recent research shows the immune system is adversely affected by loneliness, so we are becoming increasingly aware that long, healthy lives are more likely for people who have good interpersonal relationships. In order to strengthen the bonds with others and to have a full and rewarding social life, we need to reach out, to open ourselves so that we can touch and be touched by others. To be truly available for deep intimate relationships, we need to accept our personal limitations. We need to be willing to lower our masks and allow more of our true selves to appear to the other. When we acknowledge and accept our vulnerability as human beings, we become more willing to expose ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses. Trust is built by mutual sharing of our authentic selves.
I simply love this naked truth: Trust is built by mutual sharing of our authentic selves. What a great one-liner. It rocks!
The book says, the number of friends we have and how long these relationships thrive may be affected by proximity and by shared interest, but clearly, all good relationships require effort. To be true friends, we need to be able to depend on one another. We care and are generously concerned for each other. Even when time, energy, or the resources are scarce or when we are separated by many miles, as friends we have an abiding sense of our mutual affection. Authentic relationships are never one-sided. Mutuality means that each of us can count on the affection, acceptance, and enduring good will of the other. We have an unspoken pact that our friendship matters to each of us.

I agree totally. Relationships require effort and more. I call it investment. We invest time, effort, and even resources in our relationships. We invest love, affection, trust, respect, the right attitude, and all positive feelings in our relationships. That’s why it hurts when a relationship turns sour. It hurts the most when we are rejected in a relationship. Boy that really sears through the flesh.
Throughout life, friendship is an essential ingredient to vibrant living. As we grow older, our personalities become more highly developed and we often find that our capacity for deep, mutually rewarding relationships increase. The rich tapestry of life is open for friends to share together, the book continued.
I love this line: The rich tapestry of life is open for friends to share together. Indeed life is full; life is rich. We are only dots in this universe. So let’s look from the outside to fully appreciate the grid of connected dots representing the relationships that we have built through the years. Then we can smile knowing that we are full; that our life is complete.

What a wonderful reading. I’m so glad I picked up the book again. It is inspiring and reaffirms my deep faith in friendship.

Food for thought: Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself. >Henry Miller

Kindred souls

With high school friends

Is your life filled with kindred spirits? Do you appreciate kindred souls? If your answer to both questions is “yes”, then you are one fortunate human being because with kindred souls, you can never go wrong. Haha I bet you were imagining a fairy tale complete with fairies.
I asked my college best friend Catherine Carmela Consing Taylor who is now based in Canada and who happens to be a very generous Ninang to my son Hezekiah Kit for a possible topic to explore in my column. I requested that the suggestion be light because my head can’t crack heavy stuff at this moment in time. Her reply: “Hmmm...How about importance of good girlfriends? How there are girlfriends who might be far away but still a kindred spirit? Something to do with girlfriends, what do you think?”

And I like it! So let’s attempt to explore the concept of women friends; women bonding; women sharing; women moments and related stuff about women.
Why indeed is girl friendship so essential to women? We can cite several reasons: to feel strengthened; understood and validated; and supported; to be oneself sans inhibitions; to be totally crazy with and not judged or mocked; to have fun; to feel wholly a woman, ad infinitum.
Like for instance my best friend Carmela. We became friends way back in college. I was maid of honor at her wedding in Dumaguete City. Ah Dumaguete. It brings back wonderful memories and Carmela certainly knew about it. Remember those places in your life when you had fun and light moments that stick for a lifetime? I had those moments in Dumaguete and I always smile whenever I remember them. In fact, Kenny G’s Silhouette and Billy Ocean’s The Colour of Love were the songs that captured those moments.

But back to kindred souls, before the onset of modern technology and the internet phenomenon, we kept our relationships with our girlfriends from afar through letters and long distance telephone calls. If they are based elsewhere in the country and our work provides us opportunity to travel, we make sure to visit them and spend time with them. But the most inspired thing is when we share the same city. Then we can set the outings, gigs, bonding and girl talks.
There is always solidarity between or amongst women. But the thing is we must invest time to nurture it. Some women take it for granted that their closest friends are there for them, come hell or high waters. But hey, they are “feeling” beings, too. They also need a call, a text or a girl date to refresh the relationship from time to time. Even computer screens require refreshing huh! And computers can’t even feel. It is not even high-maintenance friendship. Connection could be a peek on how she is doing, a chat over decaf coffee, or simply spending time together, not a tall order, if you ask me.

Since women are emotional beings, they find deep satisfaction from a good talk. For most women, talking is simply therapy. It is inexpensive and yet, very rewarding. As learned people would often say, “Never, underestimate the power of a good talk”. It is cathartic.
I love this line from a book I read a couple of years ago: As a woman, you play different roles. You are a wife; mother; sister; daughter; friend. But lest you forget it, you are a woman, first and foremost. You have needs to be met. You should not neglect that part of your persona. And may I add, if you focus on the rest of your roles but forget the most essential which is the soul of your being, you will falter, because by meeting the essential requirements of your woman nature, you will come out filled and all set to tackle the other roles attached to being a woman.

At home with work friends

Going back to kindred spirits which provide women a sense of balance and solidarity especially during challenging times, when a woman’s girlfriend is going through a tough time in her life – in all areas like not passing the board exam for instance, losing a boyfriend or finding out the husband has a fling or worse paramour, it is so much easier to confide in a friend than a sibling or family. Wonder why.

Disclosure is a breeze when done with a non-relative. Of course, we do not diminish the value of family. Families have their moral ascendancy over the order of things but kindred souls are like an extension of family and yet, there is no felt tension; no implicit or expressed expectations; no ‘hey, watch what you’re saying young lady’ apprehension with them. No guilt trip, plain and simple. They are family and yet they are not.
So what are they? They are simply, heavenly, amazingly called girlfriends – kindred souls, and life is so much better with them around.

Food for thought: This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.
-- Author Unknown