Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lose your grief

(After father passed on, I wrote this article. Perhaps to help me cope.)
I have been thinking about changing my hairstyle again after Father was buried. I had to do something different. Something out of the routine.I wanted to curl my hair but Hezekiah Kit and Shiloh Ruthie are against the idea.
So here I am, after a visit at my favorite hairstylist, sporting a brand new hairdo...or not so brand new at all. I had this same haircut in 1999. Ah eleven long years ago and still I remember. This same hairstyle back in 1999 inspired me to start growing my hair long.
From then onwards, I have always kept a long mane. And then, lo and behold in September 2009, after all the stress and hassle of my new job, I radically cut my hair short again...only to make a personal statement that I am kicking out all the stressors from my system.
Ha and I succeeded! I loved my new hairstyle starting September last year. And it surprised so many people, most especially my family and close friends alike in Bohol and Gen. Santos City.
But now, I needed a change. It's no longer the stress and hassle of the job. It's the death and burial of someone I love. I probably wanted to write about death and not hairstyles but it's so much easier to write about the latter.
Post Script: When I lost my Mother, I felt empty for a long time. I felt I lost a portion of my foundation as an individual. I grieved for a long time then.
However, it probably prepared me for the inevitable. Right now, I felt more ready to lose Father. Maybe I'm just saying it. Maybe I'm still in denial. But I will miss him. I will miss our banter about politics. I will miss consulting him about my job decisions. I will miss fighting with him. We come from different generations and so, we look at things quite differently. We have different perspectives about a lot of things.
Ah what a sad reality that when a loved one goes, life goes on.

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