Have
you ever had the misfortune of meeting or knowing a gender-insensitive man in
your office, workplace or organization? They are not difficult to spot. These
are the bunch of people who turn resentful whenever a woman is given the
opportunity to shine and captivate an audience including management or
leadership; and feel threatened whenever a woman is acknowledged capable to
execute a man’s supposedly highly sensitive work. Get real! This is not the
forties man! Today is 2004, and with that the changes in mindsets, attitudes
and paradigms.
Have you ever heard of the cellular phone and texting?
Telecommunications has become the global paradox. With it, the world has become
both bigger and smaller at the same time. The world has turned bigger because
with each technological advancement and discovery, we are expanding our
horizons; and smaller because now, we can easily connect to the farthest
country on earth. Thanks to telecommunications.
And yet, here we are confronted with
adult men whose mindsets are remnants of the Spanish era - where women were
boxed and their opportunities limited to getting married and raising children.
Hello!
I can only commiserate with the
miserable lives of these men whose attitudes on women are very parochial and
stereotypical. Their minds are so small and shallow. No wonder they have not
gone a notch higher in stature and prominence.
It’s not enough that they sabotage a
woman’s best effort; they even go to the lengths of assassinating her
character. And with that, they start thinking they have won the game. Sorry
people, women are cut out differently. Let us revisit the strength of women,
shall we? Women are stronger emotionally. Women keep families intact. Women
hold the balance in the family. A woman is the epitome of equilibrium through
all the bad and tough times. That’s why we dearly love our mothers.
There are also supposedly younger men
who have become disciples of these narrow and shallow-minded gender-insensitive
adult men. You think that because they were born much, much later, they are
more attuned to the changes in the world. You think wrong. These young
gender-insensitive men easily fall on the list of disciples because they don’t
know anything at all. They don’t read books and don’t adopt new thoughts and
paradigms. They simply remain ignorant, dull, and worse, mediocre. Poor men. To
think, they come from a younger generation.
So what do women do given the
undeserved criticism of these traditional, dull, mediocre small-minds? I can
only venture one recommendation. Take the high road and continue making a
difference. You owe it to your Maker to maximize your gifts. According to the
“Purpose-Driven Life” book, “by maximizing your potentials, you give greater
glory to God who in the larger picture, made you for a purpose. Remember you
did not happen by chance; God planned you.”
Sustain the desire to excel in the
areas of your expertise and be the best in your field. The world will not stop
to listen to the gripes and bitterness of a gender-insensitive man. If you
listen to him, you give him undeserved attention. What good does that do to
you? None. Remember, it’s not a woman’s problem if a man’s mind is small,
shallow, traditional, and mediocre. If an adult man wants to grow up, by all
means, let him. If he needs help, assist him. Bring him to gender-sensitivity
trainings; women forums, and other women-related activities; provide him good
books.
But if his only concern is to
criticize you and drag you down, forget it. As the book “Maximize the Moment”
says, “some luggage is not worth carrying with you. It will only pull you down
with its weight. You are better off without it."
It has always been said that acceptance of a new reality
or paradigm is a difficult and painful process. It involves embracing a new
life – new attitude; new approach; new outlook while discarding the old life –
old attitude; old approach; old outlook. It takes courage to take on something
new, which brings discomfort and lots of fears at the start; and more courage
to get rid of something that we have been comfortable with for a long, long
time. Continuing on the path of denial may seem easier for a time, but if we
honestly try to have a fresh look from the outside, we will soon realize that we
have more to lose than gain. After all, the world will not stop turning on our
behalf. It will continue turning without us.
If he wants to learn it the hard way, so be it. Sooner or
later, it will sink in and from his new awareness, growth. But by then, you
will have made your mark.
(This
article was originally written for a newspaper column in 2004.)
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