Soul of the city

Friday evening, my teenager and I were invited to a birthday party of a foreign exchange student at a family-owned resort in Lagao, this city. The birthday girl Aurore (yes, she is French) is the foster daughter of Vice Mayor Shirlyn Banas-Nograles and hubby.

It was my second party with Vice Mayor Shirlyn. The first party I attended where I met her for the first time was at couple Glenn and Mary Jane Aroso’s birthday party in honour of their eldest son Brian in August, this year.

Last Friday, Vice Mayor Shirlyn and I talked about all and sundry including the recent Tuna Festival which is celebrated yearly for a couple of years now to commemorate the charter anniversary of the city.

She went to school at UP-Visayas in Iloilo for her college education and while she was there, she imbibed the culture of the province. I grew up in Bohol where the classic Boholano culture and heritage is very strong and intertwined into our psyche. Using the culture lens, we observed one thing in common: Both these Visayan Islands with grand and popular festivals to boot are deeply rooted in culture and history. You see, every city, every province has a soul. This soul is defined in the city’s or province’s history, heritage and culture. Anyone who originates from any city or province must know her history, her heritage, her uniqueness. It’s simply called the “soul of the city”.

While at it, we talked about how the Generals especially the younger ones – the children and teenagers who will eventually become grownups – can fully embrace the significance of the Tuna Festival. We were not talking about parades and street dances, nor the buntings and colourful banners; we meant how we can translate the festivity into a sustainable foundation-laying program that people can understand, appreciate, imbibe and embrace and eventually embed into their consciousness as a growing heritage. It is the young people’s birthright. Like peace education, the program never ends. It never stops. It cuts across cultures, religions, genders, ages and politics. It doesn’t start and end with the festival per se. It is cultural and historical, thus it is continuous and digs deep into the roots of the city.

It is a daunting task considering that Gen. Santos City is a melting pot of many cultures. How to start a distinct culture extracted from this myriad of cultures for the benefit of the young generation is the greatest challenge for festival thinkers and culture experts in the city. It should go beyond commerce and trade. It must be rooted in the culture and heritage that we are trying to bequeath on our children and the future generation – their birthright.

Festivals are a celebration of a place’s culture, tradition and heritage. When we celebrate it, everyone, young and old alike must have an idea why we are celebrating. The celebration must be rooted in the soul of the city.

Food for thought:

A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people. – Mohandas Gandhi

A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. – Marcus Garvey 


http://iloilocity.gov.ph/iloiloct2011wip/

Shamcey smart, spirited, gorgeous

Shamcey smart, spirited, gorgeous

Aquino sees Shamcey in Naia courtesy call

Aquino sees Shamcey in Naia courtesy call

Cool change

“If there’s one thing in my life that’s missing, it’s the time that I spend alone. Sailing on the cool and bright clear water.” Those are the first two lines of “Cool change” by “The Little River Band”.
I was out with Jessica and her hubby tonight to listen to music of my generation courtesy of the regular band at Mismo bar. This is my second time to visit Mismo this year. My first visit was last month. The quiet entertainment suddenly turned celebrated when Cesar Montano unexpectedly materialized on the scene and sang two songs from his newest album. Methinks he was promoting in all the city bars that night. After staying for about twenty minutes, he and his entourage of musicians vanished, maybe hitting another bar. Haha fancy that. You will never know what awaits you in a bar huh! We were just there for music and we had a bonus, to boot.
I remember being there for the first time a couple of years ago. 2007 I think. Oh my, it’s been ages ago.

But anyway, we all have our favorite music and I must say I love real bands. Not the neophytes who are loud, out of pitch or tune, and look rowdy onstage but the pro that can carry a tune effortlessly.
As far back as I can remember I have always enjoyed live bands influenced to a great extent by our eldest brother Angelus who played bass guitar in a professional band since college. We used to tag along each time they had a gig in one of Tagbilaran City’s bars many years ago. Was that too long ago? Haha. Anyways, even when I have left Bohol to work in Cebu and eventually relocated to Gen. Santos (and back to Cebu; and then Iloilo), I have always wanted to listen to real music. I always find time to listen to real music. It’s true. Music is food for the soul. Live performers especially the professional ones create beautiful music that pleases the ears and senses. It’s like magic. You relish the sound; you relish the good feeling.
Whatever shall we do without music huh! Your guess is as good as mine.

Chaotic scene

Here’s a chaotic scene. I am wondering if the inundation in the city by single motorcycles that transport passengers to and fro, and the careless and reckless driving these drivers demonstrate on the road are regulated by any means, by the city’s traffic enforcement or the rightful national government agency.

Gee, they are like ants crawling all over the place. They don’t wear helmets; they don’t follow traffic rules; they disregard the proper lanes; they are totally “kings of the road”. What’s wrong with this picture, pray tell?

Will they ever be regulated? Or that is how regulation works in this part of the country? Pathetic.

I drive. I speak from first-hand experience. I know how frustrating they are to drivers who follow rules and drive with basic safety in mind. Why are they all over the city?

Who is going to regulate the lordship of these drivers who think the rest of the human race owes them a living even when they blatantly disregard traffic rules and become a clear and present danger on the road? They exhibit no road sense at all. Who cares huh? All the rest of the city drivers can go hung; curse and cuss, get exasperated whenever these “commercial” or “for hire” single motorcycle drivers overtake illegally; overtake at an unsafe distance; cut an overtaken vehicle; fail to give way to an overtaking vehicle; overtake when left side is not visible or clear; overtake on a crest or grade; overtake at an intersection; fail to give proper turn/stop signals; and cause an obstruction to traffic. You can add to the list. Oh yeah, the rest of the population can go hung. They are the kings of the road after all.

Ah, maybe, this is the sign of progress.

o o 0 o o

And while at single motorcycles that ferry paying passengers, may I reiterate my question as to who will monitor the city’s tricycle drivers who do not – and deliberately at that, honor the students’ discounted fare? Why are the students abused? Because they are timid and don’t want a fight with bully drivers? Something is really wrong with this picture.

To the regulating agency of government or the city government itself, kindly attend to this concern, for the sake of the students. 

Food for thought:

Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.  -Australian Traffic Rule

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.  -Dudley Moore

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.  -Author Unknown

Rap OKd vs 7 cops in torture video

Rap OKd vs 7 cops in torture video

Judge ties Mike Arroyo to cheating

Judge ties Mike Arroyo to cheating

The beauty of words

Let’s face it; on several occasions in life, we have been hurt by irresponsible words, deliberate insults and barbs, and gossip. The tongue can either build or destroy and so thus words.
But today, we will focus on the beauty of words.

“Please” and “Thank you“. Magic words indeed. We take for granted the impact and effect of these words on sales ladies; gasoline boys and girls; security guards; street vendors; newspaper boys; gardeners; lavanderas; even on our own kids and spouses.

If you have reduced the usage of these words through the years, there is no harm in revisiting and reusing them. Time and again, let us be reminded not to turn callous, jaded, discourteous, ill-bred and disrespectful. Whatever age we may be right now, let us not forget to practice the magic words.

“I’m sorry.” Boy that really counts. Sometimes, it takes three years for a person to apologize. But when he does, it does count. Perhaps we don’t need three years to apologize. These words, like Pastor Jake says, connect. They are like bridges; they connect the broken; repair the damage. Some damage might be beyond words but “I’m sorry” is the first route to forgiveness, healing and recovery.

“I love you.” Do I need to explain that? In itself, “I love you” says it all. It is beyond the physical. It involves the emotions, mind, soul and spirit. Love is a decision.

On occasions when deep hurts have been caused; repair and restoration works naturally follow “I love you”. It will take time for some; a shorter time for others. Patience is the key.

“I’m praying for you” is the best assurance and reassurance that a person cares about you. Imagine the time he or she spends to pray for you and your life situation, or whatever you are going through in life momentarily. It is comforting to know that somebody is praying for us. It makes us strong and able to move forward and press on.

I am sure there are other beautiful words that impress you. You can add to the list. The most important thing is you practice it every single day of your life.

While at words, I watched with amusement the showdown a.k.a. confrontation between Congresswoman Mitos Magsaysay and Secretary Ricky Carandang on television last week. Congresswoman Magsaysay really went ballistic on Secretary Carandang. Carandang was left defending himself only to be berated again and again. I wonder how that felt. Just imagine the communication process. Mr. Carandang used to be a media person and as such, he was adept at asking intimidating questions, and even bullying public officials, to a certain extent. Well, during that forum, he was the one bullied and intimidated, and by a woman, no less. The situation indeed was reversed. It was incongruous.

The most amusing part was when he apologized in the end, and everybody laughed. You should have seen it. It was ironic. Here she was bullying him; here he was defending himself and trying his best to keep his calm and demeanour. Of course he had to bite back like when he said, “Was that a rhetorical question or do you want me to answer that?” She wisely cracked, “Don’t be arrogant! I’m warning you!” “You’re not in ABS-CBN (anymore). If before you had the temerity to insult elected members of the House when you were in ABS-CBN, sad to say you are on the other side of the shoe right now (sic) and you’re the one being questioned by legislators. If you’re going to be arrogant, don’t be in public service.”

Well, the abrupt ending came when Mr. Carandang said: “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings”. And that ended it all. Or does it? Congresswoman Magsaysay said, “You don’t have to be showbiz about it.”
But indeed it was showbiz. I can’t help but think that it was brilliant on the part of the Secretary to be bullied first and embarrassed before apologizing. But maybe, he was actually bullied and embarrassed and in order to save face, he decided to cut it short by apologizing. Hmmm. The nuances of communication.

The power relations were quite obvious. Congresswoman Magsaysay was holding the power right from the start. She maximized it to the hilt. It was her turf; her territory. Whether Mr. Carandang apologized because it was the most gentlemanly thing to do or he just wants the verbal tirade over and done with, we will never know. But the reality remains that after he uttered, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings”, the tension in the room eased.

So it’s true, “I’m sorry” is a connector. It bridges. Where during the debate, the two actors were totally on different sides of the fence and were on defensive modes (if not offensive), after that line has been spoken, the walls suddenly crumbled; the tension eased and diminished; and there were guffaws and teasing heard.

Oh well, it could have been politics and showbiz combined, but you can’t fail to see the power of the words.

Food for thought: Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. >Benjamin Franklin

Stage mom 101

Contrary to common belief and stereotype thinking, being a stage mom is no mean thing. It is not bad, nasty, aggressively loud, troublemaker or winning-whatever-it-takes. Perhaps that definition is the accepted description or stereotype label. Society is all agog about stereotypes anyways. But in essence, being a stage mom is the greatest thing a mom or parent could ever experience in a teenager’s life.

For me, stage mom is being a professional coach – life coach if you wish; image consultant; speech and language adviser; morale booster; facilitator; positive critic rolled into one. That is the essence of a stage mother. No emotional drama; no gimmick.

A stage mom doesn’t interfere with event requirements, rules and processes. But if these requirements disadvantage the well-being of her teenager, then she speaks. If the requirements exploit, embarrass, humiliate and harass her teenager, then she sets her foot down. You didn’t raise your child well only to be exploited, embarrassed, humiliated and harassed by others. That’s a big no-no.

A stage mom coaches her teenager to maximize his life; have fun and enjoy the experience. After all, the experience is exclusive for that precise moment. It is unique. It will not come back. The future experiences will be different. So just live in and embrace the moment. And most importantly, to assure him that winning is a bonus.

A stage mom sits quietly in one corner together with the rest of the make-up artists. She sees and watches the seemingly surreal but real scene of gay make-up artists taking care of their wards. She enjoys their bonding; camaraderie; quiet competition and even nasty and rude barbs. At times, she even witnesses the gays quarrelling over some minor but annoying event rules. It’s all part of the drama called “behind the scenes”. But mostly, the stage mom revels in the gay lingo openly spoken at the backstage. Haha it is fun listening to gay speak. It is totally amusing.

As consultant, your instincts are sharp. When you sense that your teenager is losing steam, you reinforce him with encouraging words. You are his steady rock when his nerves go awry. You are his soothing voice when someone throws a punch that causes him to lose his balance. You talk perspective when he starts to get myopic. You remind him of the bigger picture when things get hazy. All this and more; that’s the role of a stage mom. It’s not easy but it’s cool. And best of all, you get the admiration from the rest of the young people who observe your quiet demeanor and self-effacing involvement in the event. They come to you openly to state their appreciation wow! It is good for the heart. Totally!

So, who says that being a stage mom is bad?

On the contrary, it’s the coolest thing ever. And the greatest reward is when your teenager is declared a winner. That is beyond cool haha.

Food for thought: When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi, Mom! -Laurie Anderson