Sunday, October 31, 2010

Rich tapestry of life

When I lost mother in October 2001, I had a hard time coping. Among the things I did that helped me cope was reading. I read several books: books on coping, healing, moving on, maximizing your life, and some others.
One of the more helpful books was The Art of Coping by Fredrica R. Halligan, Ph.D. I borrowed this book from Sister Lucia Arana, OND, my MBA classmate who became my close friend, and one of those who helped me get through that dark period in my life. Incidentally Sister Lucia is now based in Jolo and I really desire to visit her there.
When father died a couple of months ago and I returned Gen. Santos City last summer, I picked the book again and read. I put it on a nook to read when I have the need.
Today, I picked it again and my attention was caught by the page on “Friendship”.
Allow me to lift some passages from the book that focus on “Friendship”. It says loneliness and lack of companionship are among the greatest unrecognized contributors to illness and premature death. Recent research shows the immune system is adversely affected by loneliness, so we are becoming increasingly aware that long, healthy lives are more likely for people who have good interpersonal relationships. In order to strengthen the bonds with others and to have a full and rewarding social life, we need to reach out, to open ourselves so that we can touch and be touched by others. To be truly available for deep intimate relationships, we need to accept our personal limitations. We need to be willing to lower our masks and allow more of our true selves to appear to the other. When we acknowledge and accept our vulnerability as human beings, we become more willing to expose ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses. Trust is built by mutual sharing of our authentic selves.
I simply love this naked truth: Trust is built by mutual sharing of our authentic selves. What a great one-liner. It rocks!
The book says, the number of friends we have and how long these relationships thrive may be affected by proximity and by shared interest, but clearly, all good relationships require effort. To be true friends, we need to be able to depend on one another. We care and are generously concerned for each other. Even when time, energy, or the resources are scarce or when we are separated by many miles, as friends we have an abiding sense of our mutual affection. Authentic relationships are never one-sided. Mutuality means that each of us can count on the affection, acceptance, and enduring good will of the other. We have an unspoken pact that our friendship matters to each of us.

I agree totally. Relationships require effort and more. I call it investment. We invest time, effort, and even resources in our relationships. We invest love, affection, trust, respect, the right attitude, and all positive feelings in our relationships. That’s why it hurts when a relationship turns sour. It hurts the most when we are rejected in a relationship. Boy that really sears through the flesh.
Throughout life, friendship is an essential ingredient to vibrant living. As we grow older, our personalities become more highly developed and we often find that our capacity for deep, mutually rewarding relationships increase. The rich tapestry of life is open for friends to share together, the book continued.
I love this line: The rich tapestry of life is open for friends to share together. Indeed life is full; life is rich. We are only dots in this universe. So let’s look from the outside to fully appreciate the grid of connected dots representing the relationships that we have built through the years. Then we can smile knowing that we are full; that our life is complete.
What a wonderful reading. I’m so glad I picked up the book again. It is inspiring and reaffirms my deep faith in friendship.

Food for thought: Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself. >Henry Miller

Monday, October 25, 2010

BusinessWorld Online Edition: Conal Holdings to start work on coal plant early next year

BusinessWorld Online Edition: Conal Holdings to start work on coal plant early next year

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The man by the bench

I was sitting by the coffee shop reading the national paper when my attention was caught by a man sitting by his lonesome on a bench.
Now, now, what could a man be doing sitting alone on a gorgeous afternoon like this?
Hmmm. My curiosity was piqued. I was imagining scenarios. Perhaps he is waiting for his date? Hmmm maybe he is in a quandary. Ah maybe he is bored.
I glanced at the man again. He is not bad-looking. In fact, he is handsome. Ahh maybe after a minute or two, he will get up and walk.
I perused the paper.
After some time, I looked his way again. He was still there.
Ah. He couldn’t be waiting for someone given the time he is seated there. Maybe he is testing the waters... see if a lady will have the guts to approach him.
Hmmm interesting thought.
A short while after, a man approached him and handed him an envelope. Ah that’s it! He is a crime lord. Oh, oh this is bad. But the man by the bench just put the envelope nonchalantly on the inside pocket of his suit. No big deal. It’s probably a solicitation letter. Some inspiration.
I went back to reading. When I directed my gaze at him, he was still seated there.
Now I’m thinking. Maybe he is waiting for me haha.
What to do? I thought ah I would walk right past him and drop my bag. Ouch too passé, outmoded.
Ah, I would stand right up front and ask: Is this seat taken? He would probably say, it’s still spacious, please take your seat. Hmmm. And then what?
He would probably say: Are you waiting for someone? I would probably say I’m the one you’re waiting for. Haha. Nice one.

A beautiful house

I was in this beautiful house this Saturday afternoon.
It reminded me of Bohol. There’s a certain mystic atmosphere that makes me feel like home.
It’s really true that houses evoke different feelings in a guest. We respond to a house.
The antique furniture and fixture and colorful cutlery brought me back to my childhood days in my home province.
Ahh the house architecture was resort-inspired, the owner volunteered. Totally! It was characterized by lots and lots of open spaces, huge doors, wide and vast windows. Perfect! I love huge windows. They have a certain appeal to my senses. They add to the character of the house.
I think windows will tell the world whether you are an open person or not. With windows, one can easily see who is outside from inside the house; and one can be readily seen from the outside.
And then it rained.
What a perfect setting.
I was in this beautiful house and it had to rain.
I used to say, I love it when it rains… as long as I don’t get wet.
This afternoon I said, it had to rain... when I’m inside this beautiful house.
Perfect setting for a perfect story.

P.S. The photos I used are inspired by what I saw. This is not the real thing. (",)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Blog fun

I admit. I haven’t fully explored the world of blogging yet and its consequent fun. Well, I have other stuff to do in life. Hey, I have responsibilities, too, just like anyone else.
But Monday night up to dawn, I just had the itch er curiosity to visit my two sites and explore.
Oh well, my young topnotch engineer-friend Nino L has enhanced the appearance of http://www.shilohruthie.wordpress.com and did some work on my http://www.simplybelinda.blogspot.com, but Monday night until dawn, I was really able to appreciate – totally – the beauty of blog statistics haha.
It’s magic. I saw the graph of my “readership” on a daily, weekly, monthly and all-time-high basis. I know the origin of my audience – it’s there! From the Philippines to U.S.A., Canada, Australia, U.K. and other parts of the world! Beat that! Even Slovenia! It’s amazing. I almost fell off my seat haha.
Then statistics also showed the number of times my sites have been visited and the number of people reading me. Like a child, I must say I’m delighted.
You see, when I write an article for my newspaper column, the article also appears on my blog sites. Of course I write other stuff when inspiration hits me – I call them moments of brilliance, but in the newspaper world, you wouldn’t actually know how many have read you because a newspaper could transfer hands and pockets?; some would read you; some not.
But on the site, each time you click my page, it’s counted. So it’s accurate and like a child, I’m totally enjoying it.
And proof of that, I’m writing “Blog fun”.
The global paradox has totally benefited me. Thank God for the gift of technology.

Monday, October 18, 2010

All about inspiration

My Public Speaking lecture on October 4 and 5 was truly an inspiring experience. The response of my forty two (42) police officer-participants was most heartening and when it was time for them to deliver their individual speeches, I was inspired.
It was inspiring because I saw them worked on delivering their speeches using the essentials of public speaking that I taught them. Isn’t that the greatest fulfillment of a mentor? It simply is.
This week, I will return to the institution to handle Leadership for the same participants. I’m looking forward to another fruitful experience with the group.
o O o
On October 13th, I will try to inspire senior Information Technology (IT) students of the Notre Dame of Dadiangas University (NDDU), this city who are about to finish their On-the-Job-Training (OJT) exposure. The theme of the gathering is “Convergence: A challenge to Information Technology enthusiasts in the academe and industry”.
We are constantly faced with the challenge of inspiring. We have to rise up to the challenge.
o O o
In most cases, I would say inspiration usually comes from people: people of all shapes and sizes; beliefs and convictions.
They come at unexpected moments when we least expect them. Of course God uses people to inspire other people. It’s always by divine appointment and divine providence.
It also depends on us. Like me, I always desire to inspire others most especially when I do lectures and speak before an audience. It gives me pleasure to be able to inspire my participants.
o O o
I returned to Gen. Santos City in April, this year, after a short professional journey in the Visayas. In June this year, I decided to return to school. The motivation was to help me cope with my father’s loss. I am the type who copes badly when I lose a parent. I only enrolled in one subject. Being in school is a coping mechanism and enrolling in several subjects would unnecessarily stress me.
True enough, school gave me something to think about. It also afforded me the opportunity to build new friendships and more importantly to revisit the lessons I learned in the past, and learn new ones.
One of the requirements to fully pass the subject is to organize a Seminar. So on October 9th, our Thursday class in tandem with the Saturday class organized the “Public Service is a Public Trust” Seminar with Atty. Marilou B. Unabia of the Office of the Ombudsman-Davao as speaker.

It is true: education should not be confined within the four corners or four walls of the classroom. It is incumbent upon teachers to inspire and motivate students by employing teaching approaches and methodologies that are unique, creative and fun.
It may be tough at times but that’s the only way to do it. Hey, we don’t want to bore our students to death, right? Or employ outdated teaching approaches that have seen better days. Our students deserve only the best from us. It’s the only way to go.
o O o
The semester break is here. Thank God. Parents can now relax with expenses most especially on their college students.
I don’t know about you but having a college student is really heavy on the pockets of parents.
The break will enable the parents to relax a bit on the required weekly allowances and channel the same to other home needs.
I look forward to my son Hezekiah Kit’s vacation at home for the duration of the semester break.
Thank God for breaks.
o O o
Friends are a true source of inspiration. Last week, these ladies have been an excellent source of inspiration and I would like to thank them individually: Jennifer Felisilda who is now based in Cebu City by virtue of work; Jet Reyes of PNB-Santiago; Ruth Fernandez of BDO-Pendatun (but I like to call it BDO-Sydney), and Maricris (Cris) Cabalhin of Metro Manila. Thank you ladies. Your presence in my life is refreshing and soothing.
Incidentally during my Visayas journey, Jennifer Felisilda provided me company during her breaks from her Call Center job. We had plenty of bonding moments, most especially when I had bouts of loneliness being away from my kids and hubby. She was a great source of comfort when I was alone and lonely in Cebu City. She is so much younger than me but she is mature in many ways.
Maricris is a wonderful woman in many ways. We used to work together in the last power company I served. We worked together for only a short time but we became closer when we both left the company. Thanks Cris. Like I always say, you are the greatest!
Ms. Ruth, Ahh, a beautiful woman inside-out whom I got to know through Marsha. Very attuned to her humanity; grounded on the basics, and carinosa. Who wouldn’t love a woman like Ruth?
Jet, she is the older sister I don’t have. Okay, okay she is going to wring my neck for saying that. She is only one year older than me, for all intents and purposes, but you know I am the oldest sister in the family, so it is really comforting to be treated like a younger sister. Get it? She is a lovely petite beauty.
And of course, my prayer “power” partner Catherine Pedregosa Velasco. Cathy is my constant source of prayer back-up for three years now. Thanks Cathy. I am so grateful that our paths crossed.
Like I always said, life’s surprises come in either tall or thin packages called people.
Food for thought: If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair. > Samuel Johnson

All about Desiderata

Last night, I revisited “Desiderata”. I remember having memorized this poem when I was in high school. We were required to recite it from memory. Since then, the poem has really stayed with me. In the course of my professional life, I have come across it posted on the wall of offices, or standing by a corner framed. It only goes to show that like me, it has inspired so many other individuals.
May I invite you then to revisit the poem stanza by stanza with me? Maybe we can get inspired again by this classic.
1st Stanza: “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.”
What does the line invoke? It invokes a chaotic, stressful world that we have to contend with every single day while we are alive. Then we are reminded that to obtain peace in the midst of the chaos and stress, we can try solitude.
2nd stanza: “As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.”
Simply understood, it talks about tact and diplomacy; compassion and empathy. It also warns us to choose our company wisely.
3rd stanza: “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.”
I love this stanza. It is very straightforward, direct and totally endearing. Comparison will really bring us nowhere. It can lead to jealousy and bitterness especially in people who keep their insecurities and inadequacies hidden very well. Some people will always be greater than us. It’s a fact of life. We had better accept that right here and now.
It says enjoy your achievements but keep your feet planted on the ground. It is true: humility is a real possession both in good times and bad. You become rich, you stay humble; you go through some tough time; you stay humble. It’s a winner.
4th stanza: “Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.”
The heart of this stanza is simply: Be yourself. Do not pretend. Do not play a role. Be real. But at the same time, be discerning and intuitive in your professional and personal dealings.
It also reminds us that the world is full of big and little heroes. We can derive inspiration from them.
5th stanza: “Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.”
Now this stanza is totally a lesson for all of us to learn. For after all, don’t we all turn cynical when in a love relationship we get hurt? We get jaded; callous; and cynical. We say romance is overrated and stuff like that.
Desiderata tells us that love is as perennial as the grass. What a beautiful analogy.
6th stanza: “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.”
Wisdom. This stanza talks about wisdom that we obtain as we sail on in our life journeys. When we have transitioned from youth to adulthood, we would also have developed mental and emotional toughness and strength of character.
It counsels us not to focus on the negative things in life.
7th stanza: “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
This is the stanza that I love the most. “Be gentle with yourself.” A very gentle reminder that we should always take care of ourselves; that we do not neglect ourselves and take “us” for granted; not to be too harsh on ourselves. We ought to be the very first people to love ourselves so we are able to love others.
And since God created you, you have the right to be here. And because you are here, you are witness to the many wondrous things that God has caused the universe to unfold for everyone.
8th stanza: “Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.”
The stanza best explains it. It is crystal clear. Whatever we go through in life, we know whom to anchor. Do you know whom to anchor?
9th stanza: “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
Yes, with life’s unfairness and broken dreams – don’t we all experience that? it is still a beautiful world. We may not see the beauty at times, but it truly is. So we must keep the cheerful disposition and strive to be happy.
Thank you Max Ehrmann for composing Desiderata. The author is a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana, who lived from 1872 to 1945. It has been reported that Desiderata was inspired by an urge that Ehrmann wrote about in his diary.

Life stuff

Wednesday last week, I taught Gender Awareness for some forty two (42) police officers who are taking up their Junior Leadership Course at PPSC-RTS 12. This group is fun to be with. Their interaction is real, witty, funny, and based on true-to-life accounts. Some inputs were totally hilarious; some would leave you speechless. Of the forty two police officers, five (5) were women and the rest, men.
And like all gender awareness and gender sensitivity lectures and trainings I did for most people, the subject on sex and sexuality is the most interesting part. What is it about sex and sexuality that titillates the imagination? Haha.
Let me mention some sexual rights that we tackled:
 The highest attainable standard of sexual health, including access to sexual and reproductive health care services
 Seek, receive and impart information related to sexuality
 Sexuality education
 Respect for bodily integrity
 Choose their partner
 Decide to be sexually active or not
 Consensual sexual relations
 Consensual marriage
 Decide whether or not, and when, to have children; and
 Pursue satisfying, safe and pleasurable sexual life
Those who are not in agreement with the sexual rights mentioned above may raise a question (and explain why). These sexual rights were taken up when I participated in a Seminar-Training for GAD Trainers during my colorful TRANSCO days.
The gender awareness lecture lasted for four hours only. I must say it’s very short for such an interesting topic. Perhaps it could be increased to eight hours next time?
After the gender awareness lecture, I was requested by Ms. Carms of PPSC-RTS 12 to handle Public Speaking with practicum on Monday and Tuesday, October 4 and 5. Wonderful! October 4 and 5 are special dates for me. Truly special: for all intents and purposes.
So over the weekend, I reviewed my lecture material and input some needed revisions.
o O o
I had brewed coffee at East Asia Royale Hotel late Thursday afternoon courtesy of Rombar Bartolome. What would you know! While sipping coffee, a friend whom I have not seen for over a year suddenly materialized right in front of me! Whoa! Totally serendipitous. I did not even know he was in the city. I should thank Rombar for the coffee. It afforded me the rare chance to see this guy again. Sorry folks, I couldn’t say his name. He is too popular for comfort these days. I do not want to add to his woes. Knowing him, he does not thrive in unwanted popularity.
o O o
Friday night was special bonding time with the ladies of Rotary Club of Greater General Santos at Sunset Bistro at Robinson’s Place hosted by President Petite V.
It was a small group that night, very animated, candid and totally relaxed. I would say solidarity defined the atmosphere. But I like the “candid part” the most haha. Don’t worry ladies, I totally get you.
I have always believed that women need solidarity with other women. Women solidarity strengthens, renews, validates, confirms and appreciates our value and worth as women.
Thanks President Petite for graciously hosting the get-together.
Incidentally, Prexy Petite V has requested me to speak on “Ethics in the Workplace” during the regular fellowship meeting on October 20. Time to study.
o O o
The months September and October saw my house hosting the friends and classmates of Shiloh Ruthie twice weekly. It seems like I see them almost daily actually. Hmmm. Curious.
Well, the school intramurals is coming up and they are involved in the “Battle of the Bands”. Since my daughter plays the drums and we have musical instruments at home, they troop to the house to practice. So this quiet weekend, they are here again to practice their number.
What can I say? I’m writing my column and they are strumming the guitar, playing the drums, singing their hearts out!
But I’m totally cool about it. Like they say, it is best when moms (and dads) know who their kids hang out with. It is safer and wise.
And their visits also maximize the use of the musical instruments at home. Splendid investment.
o O o
The Global Paradox: With technology, the world has become bigger and smaller at the same time. And we all benefit from it.
I do not want to intellectualize this. I just want to treat it lightly. Imagine Facebook. You get connected with your friends anywhere in the world with just one click. Twenty years ago or so, we had to call via long distance and write via snail mail if we wanted to stay connected with friends and family abroad. Fast forward to 2010, what do you have? Plenty. Real plenty huh! The world has shrunk: technology has enabled us to connect so fast; and the players – we have increased; our world has turned bigger. That in simple terms is the beauty of the global paradox.
o O o

Food for thought: May the gods grant you all things which your heart desires, and may they give you a husband and a home and gracious concord, for there is nothing greater and better than this -when a husband and wife keep a household in oneness of mind, a great woe to their enemies and joy to their friends, and win high renown. > Homer, The Odyssey

Friday, October 1, 2010

October, I remember.

Ever since mother passed away in 2001, I have always made it a point to visit Bohol during her death anniversary on October 4th and birthday on October 5th. That was before father passed away.

This month, I found no inspiration to visit Bohol. Father passed away in December, 2009 and it seems like there is no one to go home to anymore. Life.

Maybe after I have totally healed from the pain of losing father I could look forward to visiting Bohol again during death anniversaries and birthdays. There is always a time and season for everything.

But truly surprises come our way through people. Thursday afternoon, I received a message from PPSC-RTS 12 to provide a lecture on Public Speaking with practicum to Police Officers undergoing their Junior Leadership Course and, of all dates, October 4 and 5! Haha. Serendipity? Divine intervention?

It made me happy. Truly, there is a reason for everything, and a season.
So I will teach.
And this one’s for mother, the educator par excellence.