Don't Give Up On Us - David Soul

My response to the news article "Hong Kong stages march for Justice"

Sad. What's happening right now is really sad.

Sad for the country; sad for the Filipinos. The Hong Kong nationals are also sad: they lost eight of their people in a truly bizarre way.

Anger is expected. It’s part of the grieving process. The Hong Kong indignation is expected especially that the death is totally senseless to them. It does not make any sense that tourists are killed in the very same tourist bus that was supposed to give them fun and comfort. The tourist bus gave them the ultimate discomfort. We can only imagine what nightmare they went through. And for eight of them, their very own coffin.

Musing of a lonely soul

Eighteen minutes past one in the morning. I am still awake. I have been lonely since Friday night, mostly because I miss father.

But I am coping better now compared with a few months ago. I would call it progress. Is it Jen? I need to ask Jenny Olave because she is still awake and expecting to read this reflection as soon as I am done.

Like I always told myself, I will be patient. I have read from a book that we ought to be the first persons to grant ourselves patience. If other people can be patient with us, why can’t we? Indeed, why not?

Tact supremacy

Some people are gifted with tact. Some others learn it. Others relearn it. However, there are those who don’t have it at all. Sad but true.

What is tact anyways? Tact is simply diplomacy, discretion and judgment. Other meanings are offered but I chose these three because these are the most apt. The absence of tact is evidently the opposite of diplomacy, discretion and judgment.

A review of the Moral Recovery Program after EDSA I

The "Moral Recovery Program: Building a People; Building a Nation" of the government needs reevaluation and reexamination to reflect the present day realities. In this paper, the strengths of the Filipino character include:

1. Pakikipagkapwa-tao
2. Family orientation
3. Hard work and Industry
4. Faith and Religiosity
5. Joy and Humor
6. Flexibility, Adaptability and Creativity
7. Ability to Survive

Thoughts On President Aquino’s Inaugural Speech

A. On Corruption

“During the campaign we said, “If no one is corrupt, no one will be poor.” That is no mere slogan for posters — it is the defining principle that will serve as the foundation of our administration.

This solidly illustrates the commitment of President Aquino to restore decency in the government service. His declaration that “If no one is corrupt, no one will be poor” is the defining principle of his administration: the bedrock of his government.

Cops speak

This month of August, I have been most privileged to mentor the police trainees of region 12 in the area of public speaking. On August 2-3, I handled forty-eight police trainees composing Alpha Company: young and vibrant women and men who have decided to join the police force for varied personal and professional reasons.

I have to admit, I had such wonderful time learning with the trainees who called me Professor. Professor, hmmm, quite flattering.

I taught them the essentials of public speaking and then after the lecture, one by one they impressed me with their individual speeches. Naturally, I critiqued them. It is part of the learning process. I also encouraged them to learn how to critique a public speaker. Teaching them how to critique will also train them so that by the time they leave the halls of the Philippine Public Safety College (PPSC) - the Police Regional Training School (RTS), they would have become adept at observing and learning from great speakers, most especially in the areas they will eventually serve.  

Before the group starts with their individual speeches, I always encourage them with this simple line: Impress me. Haha isn’t that tough for beginners? It may sound so but usually in all the public speaking classes I have handled, the participants normally rise to the challenge. You set the standards high; they elevate themselves at par with the standards. No sweat.

Lest I be misunderstood, I always give them time to prepare their speeches and practice it before the actual exercise. We also deal with platform panic or stage fright. I give them tips to “fly their butterflies”, so to speak.

On August 9-10, it was the turn of Bravo Company consisting of forty-seven students to learn the essentials of public speaking.

By afternoon of August 9^th, eight participants have spoken. Because they volunteered, they received something from me. Talk about motivation huh! Thirty-nine more trainees spoke on the final day of my lecture, August 10^th.

Like writing, I love public speaking. For the past ten years, several doors have been opened to me because of my love for it. I have taught at the Regional Mobile Group (RMG) 12 in 2004; 602^nd Infantry Brigade (IB), Philippine Army (PA) in Carmen, North Cotabato under then Colonel (now General) Pete Soria in 2008; PhilDARE officers of PhilDARE-Gen. Santos Chapter in 2007; Police Community Relations Team Training where I handled day-long Public Speaking lecture at RTS 12 in 2007; Communication lecture integrated in the Speakers’ Bureau Seminar at 601st IB, PA (now 1002 IB) in 2004; Public Speaking lecture incorporated in the SOT Refresher Training at 1002 IB, PA in Malandag, Malungon, Sarangani in 2007; young professional group belonging to Bread of Life Ministries in 2001; Gen. Santos “Twin Star” Jaycees, Inc. in 2003, and other venues.

It is really true that when you put your heart and focus on something you are truly passionate about, you will reap your just rewards. It will open doors for you and most importantly, you are able to share that passion. It is contagious.

After all, public speaking is both a discipline and an art. Discipline because you need to study it; read books; listen and learn from great speakers and art because as soon as you have mastered the craft, you can now experiment and create your own style.

The police trainees of both Alpha and Bravo companies lived up to the challenge. I saw how nervous some were when they delivered their first speech but I also saw how they worked on overcoming their “butterflies”. Like they say if you want to conquer your fear, confront it. But naturally, you must have a mentor, an ally or support group in the process to ease the way. These trainees knew that everyone in the group supports each other. They all want each other to succeed; to finish well. That’s the spirit.

At the end of the training, I asked my lecture participants to evaluate me. It was their turn to critique their lecturer. What all of them wrote is really heartwarming and uplifting. Good for the heart. Thank you women and men of Alpha and Bravo companies. I say women as well because there are twelve female police trainees for Alpha and another twelve female trainees for Bravo. That’s about twenty four women aspiring to be in the police service. Oh the sacrifices they have to go through just to join the police service. Indeed these are brave men and women. They are courageous. They are indeed “brave hearts”.  I only have great admiration for them for braving the training.

But sacrifices always bring out rewards. So my dear police trainees (a.k.a. brave hearts), carry on and finish strong! 

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Food for thought: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Get cool

When we hear the word cool, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? In this day and age, some would probably say earning their first-ever million bucks, winning the lottery or owning a limited edition Lamborghini car.

But that’s too far worldly. Let us stick to the basics. Being a Mom is the coolest thing ever. In fact, cool Moms raise cool kids. Cool moms produce cool teenagers. Shiloh said, “Cool mom; cool kids”. Nice touch.

What does it take to become a cool parent? Yes, indeed what makes a cool mom or dad?

Here are some tips to becoming the world’s coolest Mom:

First, patience to listen. How many times do we hear our kids say, Mom, you are not listening! Or worse, they mimic our mouth movement using hand gestures. Haha. Can you visualize it? Listen, listen, listen. Even if you are doing something important, drop it. Nothing beats a listening Mom. She is the best ever.

Second, talk. Simple. Just talk to your kids. You listen to them, then talk to them. It takes time, energy and patience but you just need to do it. Whether they are kids or teenagers does not matter. What matters is we talk to them.

Third, get to know their friends. There will be sleepovers while they are teenagers and you just need to welcome, support and embrace it. It is the best way to know their friends. If they belong to a group, get to know the rest of the group. Like for instance, my son Hezekiah belongs to CornerBoyz. It is an all-male dance group. I support the group totally, even on Facebook.

Fourth, acquaint yourself with their fashion sense. Tough luck huh! Your fashion sense and theirs normally clash. Hello we come from two different generations! That’s why it is cool and hip to keep abreast with the latest fashion trends among teens.

Fifth, let them vent. There will always be days when they come home from school looking sore and sour. Let them vent. Soon enough you will learn that a classmate is totally annoying: your kid wants to trash her but did not. Or the teacher’s pronunciation is irritatingly wrong, totally disappointing your teenager. Or the tricycle driver sucks for overcharging. The list could go on. Just be there when they start exorcising their negative vibes. I promise you, it is very helpful.

Sixth, discuss relevant topics with them. When then President-elect Benigno Simeon C. Aquino III was about to be inaugurated into office, my teenagers and I watched the entire proceeding on television. I urged them to watch with me explaining that what is happening is history unfolding before their very eyes. President Aquino will serve for six years. By the time he leaves the job, my kids would have finished their college education. These are the teenagers that President Aquino will lead towards the future.

Seventh, make market day a group effort. Involve them. Yeah, our present day realities bring us to the malls to buy groceries instead of the old reliable public market. It is more convenient, among the other competitive advantages it provides, but hey what’s the fuss! It serves the purpose. The teenagers will either complain or find all the excuses available in the book not to join, but you must maintain authority. It is not only a wonderful bonding time; it also teaches them the stuff that real life is made of.

Eight, treat them as adults when it comes to the state of the household or family life. This is very essential. We should not baby talk our children when issues affecting family life are concerned. When somebody is seriously ill, they have to be told the real score. When finances are tight, they must be informed. They should be part of the planning and implementation process. They must find their voice in the family. I don’t believe in sugar-coating the bad stuff because we fear our teenage kids are too young to process it. Never underestimate the capacity of your teenagers to think like adults. You will be surprised what insight you can get from them. Treat them like adults and they will behave like one during challenging times.

Ninth, walk the talk. Needless to say, parents are the leaders at home. Behave like one. Act like one. Don’t abandon leadership or transfer leadership to some other family members. Leadership also encompasses spirituality. All families require spiritual anchor to keep the balance. If you are full materially but zero spiritually, it still amounts to nothing. At the core of your being, you must find a connection to God. What we do will be the greatest measure of our character and principles. Our children look at our lives. They mimic us.

Tenth, be their gentle but firm guide and mentor, appreciative and objective one-woman cheer squad, faithful and devoted supporter and most of all, No. 1 fan. Yes, you may not know it, but your children are your No. 1 fans! So reverse the process, make them feel No. 1 and you will have their undying devotion.

If you think that you have covered all the bases here, congratulations! You are a cool Mom. If you are half-way there, don’t fret, you are surely on your way to becoming a cool Mom!

Food for thought: Parents are the hinge on which a civilization pivots. They determine whether the door of the future swings open or closed. >Tim Kimmel